Venting I just got torn apart

[Spyro24]

Long story short, I met a girl with BPD online a few weeks ago and I fell in love with her. We were doing great and we even called each other. It was awesome and I couldn't have been happier.

Today she snapped and started tearing me apart. Saying I'm creepy and she wants to blow her brains out because of me. Then she told me to just forget it because she was high.

My heart is broken, I feel worthless and unwanted. I considered her my best friend, she understood me and I loved her in every way possible. At this point I feel like I'm alive just to be tortured and that I'm just not meant to ever be happy. Of course I already told my therapist about her so now in the next session, I can tell her how big of a failure I am.

I now have nothing left. No friends, no one. to talk to, ... She was the last thing keeping me on this earth and now I'm ready to go. My SN only arrives at the end of the month so now I'm desperately looking for another solution so I can end it all and preferably today.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Long story short, I met a girl with BPD online a few weeks ago and I fell in love with her. We were doing great and we even called each other. It was awesome and I couldn't have been happier.

Today she snapped and started tearing me apart. Saying I'm creepy and she wants to blow her brains out because of me. Then she told me to just forget it because she was high.

My heart is broken, I feel worthless and unwanted. I considered her my best friend, she understood me and I loved her in every way possible. At this point I feel like I'm alive just to be tortured and that I'm just not meant to ever be happy. Of course I already told my therapist about her so now in the next session, I can tell her how big of a failure I am.

I now have nothing left. No friends, no one. to talk to, ... She was the last thing keeping me on this earth and now I'm ready to go. My SN only arrives at the end of the month so now I'm desperately looking for another solution so I can end it all and preferably today.

I've dated mentally unhealthy women before and it has ended in disaster.

 

[Darkover]

the quality of people on offer here is appalling sometimes its for the best that it didnt go anywhere

 

[Lost Magic]

Stay away from people with BPD and severe mental disorders. They will only bring you more pain.

 

[Spyro24]

Stay away from people with BPD and severe mental disorders. They will only bring you more pain.

Yeah I guess so... it's unfortunate since she was really nice and I really loved her. But if she's gonna become abusive like that, I don't think I can forgive her. That shit really hurt.

 

[Well-Edited Chaos]

the quality of people on offer here is appalling

Not sure what you mean by "people on offer." Please clarify.

 

[FuneralCry]

I can imagine that it must be so painful being in that situation. I'm sorry that you went through that experience. Life is just so cruel. To me it is sad how so much suffering exists and that things can easily get so much worse. I hope that you find relief from your pain.

 

[Spyro24]

Thank you all for your comments. Quick update: she got mad at me because one of her long time friends unfriended her. She thought that I bothered him too much about her and that's why he removed her...

Yes that is a stupid as it sounds. I'm trying to talk to her but not getting very far even though I showed enough proof to clear my name.

At least it makes me feel better knowing that I didn't do anything wrong

 

[Graham]

Not sure what you mean by "people on offer." Please clarify.

I found that confusing too

 

[Spyro24]

Thank you all for your comments. Quick update: she got mad at me because one of her long time friends unfriended her. She thought that I bothered him too much about her and that's why he removed her...

Yes that is a stupid as it sounds. I'm trying to talk to her but not getting very far even though I showed enough proof to clear my name.

At least it makes me feel better knowing that I didn't do anything wrong

Quick update 2: managed to bring her back down to earth. I think she still expects me to just forget about it, though. The only thing I did was give her friendly compliments on things I like about her because I genuinely think she is a nice person. I do this because it is just part of my personality...

I don't know how I feel... I feel as if I'm being too good for even considering giving her a second chance. But hey, that's me and I'm not known to make very smart decisions when it comes to interacting with other people