u_unoriginal
Member
- Apr 12, 2026
- 8
I'm starting to realise that I am just a horrible person and that people would be better off without me around. Avoiding physical contact isn't enough I think I just need to completely cut myself off from people. I'm just a leech draining other people's energy and then poisoning them with my negativity. I'm trying to ignore the thoughts but at this point I don't see the point in not giving in to them.
I've seen the posts made about me online and they all agree I'm the problem and that I'm not in the right, which I knew was the case I just didn't know how to fight the thoughts enough to send the message she deserves. I know the silence isn't helping anyone but my brain is convinced something bad will happen to her if I message her, but something bad is happening to her anyway cos I'm essentially ghosting her.
The thoughts are getting to be too much, I've started getting the thoughts I was worried about getting and honestly at this point I only see one way out.
My self harm has taken a new turn in the form of partial hangings. Got some burst blood vessels in my face after my first time 2 days ago so have been avoiding uni to avoid questions, but I've been doing it a couple of times each night since as well. Just for long enough each time that I feel something, but clearly not long enough to ctb. I don't think I've been doing it with the intention of ctb but honestly at this point I don't think I care.
Apologies for the ramble.
I've seen the posts made about me online and they all agree I'm the problem and that I'm not in the right, which I knew was the case I just didn't know how to fight the thoughts enough to send the message she deserves. I know the silence isn't helping anyone but my brain is convinced something bad will happen to her if I message her, but something bad is happening to her anyway cos I'm essentially ghosting her.
The thoughts are getting to be too much, I've started getting the thoughts I was worried about getting and honestly at this point I only see one way out.
My self harm has taken a new turn in the form of partial hangings. Got some burst blood vessels in my face after my first time 2 days ago so have been avoiding uni to avoid questions, but I've been doing it a couple of times each night since as well. Just for long enough each time that I feel something, but clearly not long enough to ctb. I don't think I've been doing it with the intention of ctb but honestly at this point I don't think I care.
Apologies for the ramble.
