Venting Why haven’t you done it yet?

[ZwartHartje]

Still trying to figure out a meaning and answer to it all, I guess.
Waiting for something to happen or change that probably won't come. Or a sign that it's time.
Working out until my last day, doing moves that most people can't - it seems so wasteful to throw it away.
But I don't want to go through another winter.

 

[smirks00ts]

false hope, mostly.
though also fear and SI. and also not wanting to hurt anyone, specifically my parents or family. I fear that if I die, my parents will die too or things will change badly for my siblings. even though suicide is taboo and barely happens or not reported where I live.

I did try once in june. but I just kept stupidly freezing until I decided to leave. it was the last exam for me at the time. and I had to leave for my dad to pick me up ( dont have a license. yet.)

 

[GoldenTicket]

I fear any method has SI. I finally purchased a gun yesterday, after months of wanting fsh. It's just one day but i couldn't do it.
I'm also slightly in a state of disbelief. Even after ten months of anxiety and trauma. Knowing it's the only way out. I still wish this was some nightmare to wake from.

Oh yeah I agree with you, I'm not saying my chosen method will be a peice of cake, I've been trying to mentally prepare myself for this specific method for a while other over methods, but SI will definitely pop up, I guess I can't guarantee it won't mess up my attempt until I try it, I just feel like I'm more prepared for that one method. I'm sorry you've gone through so much pain, I wish you find your peace one day.

 

[limenlux]

I'm currently struggling with very limited available methods, working out the logistics of said methods, and the occasional bout of slow, roiling religious dread.