When Ever I Think Things Are Getting Better They End Up Getting Worse

[socrates]

A lot has changed since August for me. I scheduled my dental appointments. I got a GF. I started working on a new exciting project. And then I was eating a taco and licked my teeth and I feel a new sharp bit. It looks like it chipped or a filling came out. I don't know if this is part of the dental issues he was gonna fix or a new one. I can't do whole other appointment. I'm all ready costing my parents so much with this one.

On top of everything else, I know the idea of moving out to be closer to my gf is a pipe dream. I'm useless I can't make the money. I've been trying to move out for 6 years, and nothing works. I'm never going to be happy, but that's okay I don't deserve it. I carry so much guilt and pain. I need to stop being such a coward and CTB already. It would be the best thing I could do for my self and others.

 

[justanotherstar]

It's a great burden to feel like others would be better off without you. I hear you, and relate a lot. It's natural that pain and suffering leads us to wanting to CTB, sometimes there are other ways through. Whatever support you want right now I hope you find it here and my inbox is always open

 

[botanormal]

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this again, and after things started to get better too. You do deserve happiness, and you deserve the chance to live a good life, if it's what you want.

If your parents are okay helping you with your dental issues, don't feel bad about leaning on them a bit more. It sounds like this has really affected you, and if there's potential for it to get better, wouldn't it be good to give it a go? I know how complicated it must be, I just don't know if you should go through with ctb if there's still opportunity to get better, and it's what you want.

I may be misreading things here, but with all of the effort you've put in during the past few months, it sounds like things could really improve. It's a long journey, and if you don't want to put yourself through that it's understandable, but I think you've been doing great so far, so you shouldn't let this stop you! Good luck with whatever you end up doing though, you deserve to find some peace.

 

[WornOutLife]

Damn, life is certainly hard huh?
Good for you that you were getting better and about the money, there are hundreds of ways of making some. Have you tried filling online surveys and captcha? A friend of mine is able to make a living and save some money out of it.


Anyway, I feel as a coward too as for CTB. It's goddamn difficult to get the guts and method and finally do it.