Help PLEASE help with Nitrogen Method - I must go ASAP & I need some critical info

[morphine22]

I'm new to this site and this is my first post. I was hoping I would have time to to get to know it better, so please forgive any faux pas I make because I don't know any better. Long and short is I am a 47m and my whole life has been leading to this. But this last year, has been a non-stop parade of pain. I don't expect anyone could even believe me because of how impossible the odds are that so much unbelievably bad shit could keep happening to one innocent person. But last night came the grand piano that broke the camel's back. My fucking teeth fell out on the on the one remaining side I had left to chew with. It's not because of meth use or poor dental hygiene (well, partially the latter), but now I literally can not eat. I always knew this was coming: the death not the teeth, especially when my mother CTB (to use your vernacular) like 20 years ago. She used a .38 revolver. I have always made sure to own a gun should I need to make a speedy departure, but all I own now is a shotgun. Yes, that would be very effective and painless, but I don't know how anyone can follow through with such a horrifying method once they've seen themselves in the mirror. What the result of a 00 buckshot just looks like in a movie is enough to give you nightmares, and I simply can't do that to myself, even though I'd never know it happened. Still, when I saw the teeth just drop out of my mouth last night, I nearly used the 12 gauge. I really don't want to do anything violent or painful, so this is the plan I've been workshopping and I am in desperate, and urgent need of feedback. Please remember, I am starving and can only drink Ensure protein shakes. Maybe I can get into the dentist on Monday, maybe not, but this won't be an easy fix, and I certainly don't have money for implants (even if that process didn't take like a year), and it would still leave me with the myriad of other serious problems BEFORE just last night. Dental problems aside, what I have been going through lately is tantamount to physical and emotional torture, and I've exhausted all possibilities, however remote, for help. I'm sorry I've digressed (I didn't come here to vent, just paint a modest background picture), and while I'm sure there are better ways, below is the best I can come up with. PLEASE HELP ME MAKE THIS WORKABLE. If there's anything I can do for you in return, I WILL, though I can't imagine what that might be.

I am going to purchase a tank of pure nitrogen from wherever they are sold (welding supply I guess). One of my biggest questions is how big the tank has to be. I don't at all understand the conversion of cubic feet to liters, and so forth. I know I'll need a regulator and hose, and I also really need to know some details on how to ask for these things without raising any red flags. That's probably the biggest question. Once I have that, I plan to alter a small tent to make it airtight. Any good ideas on the best "tent" or enclosure are certainly welcome too, because I know if there's a way for this to get fucked up, it will be. Even if I had the knowledge and resources to make an "exit bag", I'd rather CTB without a giant bag on my head if possible. Then I will take my tank, regulator, and hose into the tent with a pillow, secure all vulnerable spots in the tent, and turn the fucker on. Sadly, there's no telling how long it will be before I'm found because there is literally no one in my life to care or notice that I'll be gone. Actually, it's possible if I fail to check in with my doctor, he might contact my landlord, and not to sound callous, but that really isn't my problem. I will have saved them a fortune by not using the buckshot.

Please help me to figure this out ASAP. It's not going to be long before I start getting really sick from hunger. Believe it or not, this is not my first time around with this idea. When I was 23 years old, I altered a side-by-side refrigerator/freezer for this exact purpose. Unfortunately, I abandon a perfect, ready to go, almost perfect plan, because I stupidly thought I found solutions to the storm of shit life sent my way back then too, so I never followed through with it. Damn shame too, because I also had a plethora of IV drugs (benzos, opiates, everything but N) to do the deed as well, but this was back when drugs were much easier to come by. Now all I've got drug wise is Xanax, which is the only way I've lived as long as I have, but I believe the LD50 on it is about 15,000mg.

Thank you to anyone for just reading this, and I would appreciate any words that may help, so long as they're not scripture or something. I realize I don't have private messaging privileges, so this way will have to do. I'd also like to thank those who built and maintain this site, and I would love to leave a donation but I'm too old to understand how to use cryptocurrency. My god, you should hear the noises coming from my stomach. It's time for another Ensure. In the meantime, I can only pray someone will come through to help me figure this out. Considering how little help I've had in life, I'm not quite sure what to expect now, but thanks to everyone anyway.

 

[certified_idiot]

I'm not very good at emotional support, but I might be able to answer some of your questions. Have you read Vizzy's Inert Gas method? It's very detailed. Keep in mind that inert gas is one of the most expensive and complicated methods out there. People usually spend a while collecting everything. If you want something fast, unless you can get everything quickly, this is not the right method.

If you are set on nitrogen, that's a perfectly reasonable choice, but if you want something quicker, easier, and/or cheaper, you can browse the suicide resource compilation. If I wanted to minimize gore while also minimizing effort and materials needed, I'd go for something like ligature strangulation.

 

[golfvictor]

This wont be the most direct answer that I provide but I've some thoughts. First, It personally did not help the Survival Instinct when I tried to CO myself in a car (burning charcoal), when you tealize youre at the point of no return its like that.
The only welding shop excuse i could think of is seeing which welder type (uses nitrogen) and false project you can come up with and maybe community college for training.
Tents are made to be breathable to prevent mold and suffocation, a car may be a better air tight solution to fix up.
And about the shotgun itself, your death will not be real to you: reality (but not existance) requires consciousness, no one's death will be real for themselves, so you can't fear what it will look like afterwards.

 

[morphine22]

I'm not very good at emotional support, but I might be able to answer some of your questions. Have you read Vizzy's Inert Gas method? It's very detailed. Keep in mind that inert gas is one of the most expensive and complicated methods out there. People usually spend a while collecting everything. If you want something fast, unless you can get everything quickly, this is not the right method.

If you are set on nitrogen, that's a perfectly reasonable choice, but if you want something quicker, easier, and/or cheaper, you can browse the suicide resource compilation. If I wanted to minimize gore while also minimizing effort and materials needed, I'd go for something like ligature strangulation.

Wow, I really didn't expect any responses at all, let alone so quickly. Thank you. I actually have looked through Vizzy's method, but he spends a ridiculous amount of time attending to every little detail like he's building a permanent ventilation system to render emergency life support to a building full of people. Honestly, thank you Vizzy, but something a layperson could do would be even better.

In regards to expense, that's what credit cards are great for, so I'm covered there. Let them sue my estate (hahaha, my estate). Can you fill me in on how it's really all that complicated? You get a big tank of nitrogen, create a small, air tite area to hold you, the tank, and tank paraphernalia, and let the wind blow. Area fills with nitrogen, you breath it, it's not too small so the CO2 would be a huge problem, and 20 minutes later you CTB. I'm not at all being sarcastic when I ask, what am I missing?

This wont be the most direct answer that I provide but I've some thoughts. First, It personally did not help the Survival Instinct when I tried to CO myself in a car (burning charcoal), when you tealize youre at the point of no return its like that.
The only welding shop excuse i could think of is seeing which welder type (uses nitrogen) and false project you can come up with and maybe community college for training.
Tents are made to be breathable to prevent mold and suffocation, a car may be a better air tight solution to fix up.
And about the shotgun itself, your death will not be real to you: reality (but not existance) requires consciousness, no one's death will be real for themselves, so you can't fear what it will look like afterwards.

Thank you for your response, as I tremendously appreciate it. Honestly, I have no idea what the fuck people are talking about when it comes to burning charcoal in an enclosed space. Wouldn't that be like dying in a fire? The nice thing about inert gases is you don't know you're breathing them, right? And in terms of eliminating that survival instinct, I imagine you wouldn't even know when the point of no return is coming with inert gas, which can still be aided with maybe 5 or 10 Xanax....as long as their not chewable. Tragic joke. My sense of humor is the only reason I've made it this far. As for the tent, that's more for a frame. How about a roll of contractor's plastic and duct tape to solve that issue? I thought I'd hit paydirt when I considered a car, but it's been pointed out it'a a much bigger space than one thinks. Not to mention I don't have a private garage so where exactly can I be alone with my tank? Still a good observation.

As for the shotgun method, everything you're saying is absolutely right, but it comes down to this: I have put all manner of loaded guns to my head over the years more times than I could begin to count. I even play the game "let me see how far I can pull the trigger". But I just can not do it. That last quarter inch is like 1,000 miles, even when we're talking about a compact Glock .40S&W. Now I've got to hunch over a 18" barrel that is going to totally obliterate my head? Just can't pull the trigger on that, both literally and figuratively. I don't mean to "shoot down" your comments, but because that point of no return is so immediate, it's hard to get past that barrier because our god damned brains are so hard wired to survive. Hundreds of thousands of years of evolution to create that, but nothing to keep my teeth in my fucking head? It's so crazy how fragile and easily killed the human body is, except when you WANT to kill it. Then it manages to survive almost everything.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

The first thing you need to do is let go of the tent idea (and the car idea, too). Once you've done that, you'll be fine. UNLESS you want to fill it with carbon monoxide instead of nitrogen. It's exit bag + inert gas OR tent and CO for a reason. The choice is yours.

Have you read the inert gas + exit bag megathread yet? Or the CO megathread? If not, you should. They're in the suicide resource compilation, which I'll link below.

My cover story when I bought my nitrogen was that I needed it for food packaging. But whatever you come up with, they really aren't going to care. They're just there to sell it.

In the meantime… Ensure is not ideal, but can't you supplement that boring diet with things like yogurt, ice cream, coffee, hot chocolate, whipped cream, piña coladas, mudslides, the list goes on. I'm sure you could find some things to enjoy, for a last meal if nothing else.

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