TheYounger
Aria Math
- Jun 7, 2020
- 140
I ask myself this right now. I've been struggling with severe depression for the past 3 years and still feeling as lost and empty as I was feeling 3 years ago. My life and future are hopeless. I really don't think I wish to continue living but I also don't want to die. I'm stuck really.
In an ideal world I would like to have at least someone there with me when I do die. I don't want to make the journey alone. I don't wish for them to go with me if they don't wish to but to at least be with me my final moments. Even if it's someone who've I've met here on SS.
I think about suicide quite often because of how sad and hopeless I feel and it seems to be getting worst as the days pass. I think about Van Gogh's last painting "Wheatfield With Crows" and how much hopelessness and sadness he expressed in that painting.
Anyways, I think I'm gonna move to another city and not take my phone this time. I wish to listen to myself without the distraction of the internet. I wish to get control of my life again but it seems like paddling a boat against a stream. I don't know. I'm not good about responding but feel free to. Take care SS.
In an ideal world I would like to have at least someone there with me when I do die. I don't want to make the journey alone. I don't wish for them to go with me if they don't wish to but to at least be with me my final moments. Even if it's someone who've I've met here on SS.
I think about suicide quite often because of how sad and hopeless I feel and it seems to be getting worst as the days pass. I think about Van Gogh's last painting "Wheatfield With Crows" and how much hopelessness and sadness he expressed in that painting.
Anyways, I think I'm gonna move to another city and not take my phone this time. I wish to listen to myself without the distraction of the internet. I wish to get control of my life again but it seems like paddling a boat against a stream. I don't know. I'm not good about responding but feel free to. Take care SS.
