Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[LigottiIsRight]

Vivo en un limbo porque no tomo la decisión de suicidarme.

 

[OOUUneverover]

I need to be killed. It is a moral imperative.

 

[sadsuif8765]

I feel empty. Like if you slice me open, you'll find nothing there. Just black emptiness. I go through life mechanically, and it's like every emotion I feel is fake. Like they're really just at the surface. Beneath, there's nothing. It's weird. I know what to feel but I don't feel it.

I'm hurting and because of that, I end up hurting others. I don't want to cause pain anymore. I don't want to feel pain anymore. I just want it all to end.

Anger towards the mental health system I give up with them all I have tried my hardest I just want to go I want this to end

 

[Macedonian1987]

A waitress took my being nice to her as me flirting. Because she's a bad person, she intentionally started hugging some other guy right in front of me all the time, thinking it would make me jealous. She couldn't have been more wrong, though—I gave up on relationships years ago, lol

 

[Dejected 55]

People suck... everything sucks... the best I can achieve in life is mere existence, always waiting for shoes and problems do drop from the sky, though sometimes I can see them coming which is almost worse with the anticipation and dread... I want it to end, but I cannot end it. I tried that, it didn't take, and now I'm just stuck here in a world and a life I do not want, cannot tolerate, but have no way to stop or mitigate.

 

[Tombadil]

I´m tired, but for the first time in decades in a rather peaceful way. I am glad i found this site so i dont have to go this way all alone.

 

[Black_Knight]

I hate the education system so much. It's not just because I'm in it, I've always been like this. It's the thorn in my paw and the thorn in my crown too. I hate how insidious and prolific it is. I hate how it takes up so much space.

Also, I've been reading probably stupid new age stuff to quench my thirst for NDE knowledge. I don't think it's good for my mental state. They go on and on about service to self and service to others. I'm STS by nature but I also think the whole idea of service is flawed and that's where all this batshit human suffering comes from. So what, I'm self centered to a fault. Doesn't mean I'm fucking evil. Doesn't mean I wish harm on anyone else. It's just where the locus of my focus lies. Tired of seeing not being a slave and wanting to have your own space and mind being pathologized.

Evidently it makes me a target of lhp beings and I'm tired of it. I'm no hand path so fuck off already.

 

[KenDuh]

I keep saying I'm waiting, but for that you need something to wait for, and got nothing. I'm here, been here for more time that I wanted to, but can't do nothing about it. Come on, I'm in front of a screen posting in a suicide forum, waiting for people that I don't know to read me, cuz that's as good as it gets. Every day I get to a new level of empty.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

It's fucked to say, but this fam drama going on rn is making me feel worse than when I was assaulted in my own bed. :/

 

[darksouls]

the cold has frozen my soul

 

[EmptyBottle]

Nostalgia from minecraft (nice)

Minecraft (screenshots from 6:09pm to 6:30pm today, probably played a little more... been a long time since I played... and yes I mined around the diamonds to check for lava, found 4 total this session, and maybe 16-20 iron and 3 gold)

 

[cosimaniehaus]

No one is on my side, and here I am, sleeping and suffering all day, I have to take 45 mg of mirtazapine, 30 mg of aripripazole, and 7.5 mg of olanzapine daily, and even this isn't a good enough reason for anyone to leave me alone

idk what I'm doing, but here is the full list of the different psych meds I've tried, anyone who reads this post, please just feel sorry for me, I really need it

1.Fluoxetine
2.Risperidone
3.Olanzapine
4.Quetiapine
5.Cariprazine
6.Escitalopram
7.Clozapine
8.Lamotrigine
9.Lithium
10.Zuclopenthixol
11.Aripiprazole
12.Mirtazapine
13.Alprazolam
14.Sertraline
15.Clomipramine
16.Buspirone

I'm cursed

 

[TooMuch.]

Lonely, and I wanna like tell a professional how I feel but I know they'll just yell at me for not trying enough or if I don't censor myself they'll call me crazy and it'll just cost more money. Like the world is disappearing though my fingertips

 

[Spite]

Hopeless. Like no matter how hard I try I will always be condemned to a life of suffering and agony.

 

[MissAbyss]

No one is on my side, and here I am, sleeping and suffering all day, I have to take 45 mg of mirtazapine, 30 mg of aripripazole, and 7.5 mg of olanzapine daily, and even this isn't a good enough reason for anyone to leave me alone

idk what I'm doing, but here is the full list of the different psych meds I've tried, anyone who reads this post, please just feel sorry for me, I really need it

1.Fluoxetine
2.Risperidone
3.Olanzapine
4.Quetiapine
5.Cariprazine
6.Escitalopram
7.Clozapine
8.Lamotrigine
9.Lithium
10.Zuclopenthixol
11.Aripiprazole
12.Mirtazapine
13.Alprazolam
14.Sertraline
15.Clomipramine
16.Buspirone

I'm cursed

 

[Dejected 55]

There is no point to anything. Words I say and actions I perform do not matter in the grand scheme of things or even in my small corner of the world. If I do nothing, I pretty much end up in the same place as if I try to do everything possible to succeed. I am alone, I am going to be alone, and nothing matters to me beyond that. I've seen and done everything I care to do in life that is possible for me to do on my own. I need someone else for all the other things, and I can never have anyone in my life. I do not know why I fail at this, I only know that I always will fail. I can't even kill myself, because I tried and failed at that and it only made everything even worse.

 

[Persona3]

Expired since day one

 

[yesi]

I'm doing really bad it's so painful.

 

[MapleS]

loved. and struggling

 

[ApparentlyNot]

I am alone and I will never ever have a home.

 

[synchroscope]

BAD! Sick to my stomach. Alternating hot and cold sweats. Like I want to scream but I can't. I'm not dying or anything I'm just experiencing a breakup or something similar. God I wish I was dying though.

 

[LakeMungoGirl]

I feel empty. Like if you slice me open, you'll find nothing there. Just black emptiness. I go through life mechanically, and it's like every emotion I feel is fake. Like they're really just at the surface. Beneath, there's nothing. It's weird. I know what to feel but I don't feel it.

I'm hurting and because of that, I end up hurting others. I don't want to cause pain anymore. I don't want to feel pain anymore. I just want it all to end.

Pain pain pain pain pain pain

 

[Manaaja]

Have you noticed my profile pic has been nude this whole time?

 

[darksouls]

frightened and stressed because cloudflare kicked me out for a few hours

 

[Dejected 55]

Miserable. I spend nights trying to go to sleep and thinking and overthinking... and wanting to text someone desperately, even though I know there's nothing I could say that will change anything... but I want to SO badly... then finally I get to sleep, sometimes have weird dreams, then wake up and still wrestle with whether or not to text a person, though I know I don't have anything new to say at this point so I will just be rehashing and repeating myself of things that didn't work before so why would they work now? But I still want to text anyway... but I don't, because when I wake up I think slightly more rationally than I do at night just before bed. But I still want to reach out... and that part of me that wants to be positive wants to believe anything is possible even the eleventieth eleventh time... even though I know it won't... but I hurt and I'm alone and I want so badly to connect.

 

[Unsolved]

Thinking about ending it all again. I wish I had motivation to do things, even just simple stuff like showering or brushing teeth feel so exhausting. Overall I just feel broken by life with no one to talk to or rely on. How am I supposed to function being like this?

 

[MissAbyss]

So FKNG sick of all this BS...

 

[Dejected 55]

Miserable. Been dreading today all weeks. Hoping no one I know crawls up from the void to give me platitudes about "happy Thanksgiving" or whatever when they know I'm sitting here alone and miserable in my house eating warmed over leftovers in silence, wanting to cry about being reminded of how alone I am. I also am annoyed by that tiny spark of hope in the back of my brain that hopes instead to hear from someone I wish would contact me to talk to me again... and I know that will not happen and I will be sad at the end of the day when it doesn't... but that spark inside me keeps hoping anyway. Today sucks so many balls.

 

[EmptyBottle]

Excited, coz not only did I replace the BIOS battery (see ifixit Dell Vostro 3450 HDD replacement, yes, step 52's newly posted advice on prying the screw is me), but reconnecting the touchpad again worked (no need to use wired mouse)

 

[collidedsigns]

Frustrated yet calm, My best friend in the whole world is meant to be coming to visit me Saturday which means if I can just get through tomorrow I can spend the weekend with her. I'm hoping it's my last weekend. I can't think of a better way to spend my last few days than with her. I just really hope I can ctb after that. I have tried so many god dam times but I'm hoping my research actually is useful this time.