Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[PepperJam]

Empty, but at peace with it. The only thing I really feel is this imminent sense of impending finality. With my closest friend being terminally ill, I know the day she dies, I'll absolutely fall apart mentally and won't have the strength to go on. Life has an almost surreal aspect to it now, as if I'm walking through a memory.

 

[LigottiIsRight]

I feel deeply bored and tired of being stuck in thought loops (which is almost a daily routine). If I had a gun, I could end things right now.
I think I've reached that point where one isn't keep on living for having reasons to, but for not being able to overcome psychological barriers to die.

 

[dead dav]

Exhausted sore

 

[Dejected 55]

I have a mild headache, maybe it will get worse, I don't know. The only time I'm not actively miserable is when I am in a state of malaise. I think I'm in malaise at the moment. The pain and misery will come soon, though. The bank is starting to ramp up the "where is the house payment" attempts to contact. That's going to be a constant thing soon. I don't answer my phone, though. Nobody calls unless it is about a late payment. These are the endtimes, when bills aren't paid and bill collectors start to bother and harass and I'm just waiting to get in the right frame of mind to try and end it all and home my endgame works the first time. Getting closer every day.

 

[ankawannadie]

It feels like Im sinking. Im just scared.

 

[darksouls]

still trapped in my worst nightmare
THE REALITY
not able to end it
I cant stand it anymore
unbearable depression
I want to be freed from my suffering

 

[suicidal_tendencies]

Being lonely
Wanting someone I can cuddle and talk with
Sometimes detached from reality, because I don't want to think about all the difficulties of life that will come
I want to meet Nolla in real life but it doesn't work because she's a fictional character
Thinking about suicide again after a long while
Realising that watching hentai and porn isn't a substitute for a girlfriend
Thinking about my sexuality again and if I really want to get a vaginoplasty (I am still a male)
Was it a good idea for my mental health to come back to this forum?
I should go to bed because it's way too late

 

[Lyn]

I don't feel broken. I feel... gone. Like whatever I was just drifted off one day. Not much left now

 

[XKZyn]

Lonely and like I want to rest yet I feel an odd drive to do something with myself but lack the motivation and will to do anything

 

[contentedlyplanning]

I feel horribly disgusted by my body (really severe bloating exacerbating body dysmorphia.) I feel like my boyfriend isn't strong enough to prioritize our relationship in his life, even though he cares about me deeply. I feel like I'm never going to get better and I feel so sick of people saying "you just have to give it more time" and "you just have to focus on the good things" and "you just have to learn to love yourself" and all of that. I feel like my lack of hope is increasingly more annoying to the people in group therapy as the weeks pass. I feel like I never should have been born and I wish my mom hadn't saved me from my suicide attempt in 2016 because the doctor said I would have certainly died otherwise. I feel so very, very tired.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

Very willing to die due to finals, but sorry to the UK members of the site; I know shit sucks hardcore rn.

 

[darksouls]

I am trapped in my fortress of solitude
always alone
I am trapped in this sick broken body
my loneliness causes my soul suffering
already done with my life
not able to commit
no escape
I am a prisoner
isolation is my prison
my existence consists only of pain
I live in infinite darkness
no hope no light

 

[suacide]

Tired. Lonely. So, so lonely. I want my mom back. It's been 67 of daily crying, thinking about her and mourning. Guilt. So much guilt. So much guilt I understand those character motives of 'doing anything' for someone. I really get it. I'd really do anything to bring her back.
Restless. I'm exhausted but I can't sleep, but I take comfort knowing my friend on call with me sleeps better because I'm on the line. I'm useful sometimes.
I'm frustrated that my biology makes things harder for me. I feel like I was the worst person to give a debuff like this to.
So lonely. Not even that close to my closest friend. I know she has a crush on me. She's the one I'm on a call with. But I can't return how she feels. I feel awful. But she's sweet and kind and deserves better. She's not like me. I'd only hurt her. I've learnt to stand my ground on that.
I wanna finish Made in Abyss
I wanna watch 'Goodbye Lara' when it comes out
Uk law is pissing me off, I hope this VPN works
I lost my spark again
I had more fun being an alchoholic but I can't do that anymore while I'm being watched
I hope something deadly takes me out soon
I hope a new 'Tales of' game comes out before i ctb, I love those games Xillia 1+2 were my childhood
Huge swirl of emotions
Mind is too fast, I wish I had even one super close friend who don't want something unsavoury or more than just friendship from me. Or even just someone I could pretend to be with. Talk everyday. Call all the time. Joint at the hip.
I wanna melt chocolate and eat strawberries with them, I never got that fountain I wanted when I was little

 

[Bowerbird]

I'm in love and confused, shame most of the research is not applicable to my case, as lots of it is geared towards heteros and neurotypicals etc. which have different body language and shit

 

[Dejected 55]

Headache not as bad as yesterday, but still a headache. Everything has a gloomy haze that I think is just my perspective and not actual gloomy haze. Sometimes I feel feverish and weak as if I had a virus or something, but I don't... I just feel like that now sometimes randomly because I have lived in a state of high stress for decades now. I don't relax or rest even when I sleep. I am always running as fast as I can to stop the slide into oblivion, and I find myself wondering now why I fought so long? What was I fighting for? I want to stop fighting. I want to give in and slide into the abyss.

 

[darksouls]

I want to die
alwayas alone
I cant stand it anymore
every day the same hell
I dont want to suffer in this prison of isolation
lost everything
no reason to go on
already done with my life

 

[Lyn]

I hate humanity as a whole.
Although I'm still capable to feel empathy to exact persons.
Don't even know when that will change and I'll lose even this kind of connection to human beings.

 

[darksouls]

I cant get no sleep

 

[Takeme2whereibelong]

Extremely depressed. Im a ptsd trigger for my sister and it kills me. I gave her alot of flashbacks tonight and she was distraught and in tears over the phone. I asked her help for a stupid homework question from the fucked up suicide prevention service with the mental health team and it was enough to set her off and now set my ptsd off. Im sick of this fuckin ptsd torture with myself and seeing her aswell completely destroyed by it. Im just fuckin over all this shit

 

[enjoytheride]

I am feeling anxious to the point there are moments I feel as if my blood is like sparkling water. As if my stomach is wrapped around itself many, many times. As if I have a stone in my belly and chest.