Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[Lexandro]

Tired, anxious, sad, angry, lonely.

 

[mangorose]

Disbelief. It has been almost a year since I found out my then girlfriend hadn't been faithful after being together for more than 3 years and I think it has finally begun to sink in. I have no idea where to turn to for support, I don't want to talk about it with my family and I don't have any friends I feel close enough with either. I thought we were going to spend our lives together and now I have to deal with her moving on. It feels impossible to move on but I know I have to because I don't think I'd survive feeling like this for much longer :(

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I wish I were desirable. I keep on thinking that being desirable would help make me feel better about myself, but it never does. Despite this, I keep on wishing I were more desirable. I wished I was naturally attractive enough that caused people to turn their head.

 

[star.trip]

I don't know how to describe what I feel is something of sadness, acceptance, trapped... it's hard to define this emotion.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Turns out I have low iron, which I think may explain the mental health decline that I was going through. The doctor still insists that I am mentally, but I don't give a shit. This is the same person who incorrectly explained to me how SSRIs worked. The thing is, depression isn't caused by a chemical imbalance and SSRIs are thought to work by indirectly addressing the problem, similar to chemotherapy. She seems pretty keen on me agreeing to take meds, but I'm doing that shit anytime soon. I refuse to have my life potentially destroyed by taking a bunch of shitty meds. I don't get why you would even come to the conclusion that I must have mental health issues after finding out about my low iron. She also can't wrap her head around the idea of someone being suicidal and not mentally ill, but she also acknowledges that the "symptoms" that I am describing make diagnosing me difficult because none of my symptoms seem to align with a specific mental illness. Literally, everything points to me not being mentally ill, so I don't get why she feels so insistent on labelling me with a mental illness. Just because you can't wrap your head around why I am suicidal doesn't mean that I am mentally ill. There is even research showing that suicidal ideation is not something unique to mentally ill individuals and can be seen in anyone.

I hope I don't end up having to see her again.

 

[Dejected 55]

Everything is horrible, even the things that are not horrible are horrible. Everything causes pain, even the things that do not hurt cause pain. There is no reason for anything that happens, no possible redemption for the world, and I have no place anywhere in it. I want to be gone, whatever nothingness and oblivion is, I want that desperately. I do not yet have the courage, or maybe I stupidly cling to minuscule chances of a miracle, but I need to find the courage soon to take myself out of this world... or at least to try... I am also scared I might fail, and that will be so much worse... to feel everything as I already do and then face a reality that I can't end it even through suicide? That would be the most horrible.

 

[S like Siren]

I feel like I fucked up everything in my life,in this life.
But it's not like I could have avoided it

 

[Grog]

I got some of the strangest news today when I woke up. Somebody that I used to know for quite a long time passed away last night. We weren't buddy-buddy or anything, but I knew him for a long time through his other family members and he was always a good kid. He was only 22 and no one knows how he died yet. I just feel terrible for his family…

Life isn't fair.

 

[Lyn]

We have failed. As humanity.
Where is that power that will wash it all away...

 

[S like Siren]

Just had an anxiety/panic attack
I am starting to breath again...