Venting Venting thread Tooafraidtodie

[tooafraidtodiez]

Today was okay i felt very nervous about attempting the 2nd time in the future, to the point where even laying down felt uncomfortable. Now the feeling subsided, i guess im a bit ready now? I talked with my parents about VAD and we'll discuss the legal status of helping with VAD in my country. AI says that helping patient travel may risk imprisonment. But today i contacted online lawyer and he says its non criminal as long as the family doesnt push the patient to commit, i hope this is true. Impatiently waiting to meet a lawyer that specializes in criminal offence. Got my benzo in case imprisonment is a risk. Probably attempting another SN soon maybe in 2-3 weeks idk if i cant get VAD. Its scary and horrible but i dont have other methods beside SN For some reason im less afraid now. Maybe because the headache and back pain ive been experiencing lately. Thats all for today

 

[enso]

Hi!

I am sorry that you have to go through that. It really does sound like that less fear during attempts can come due to more external pressure.

Have you tried to CTB before? If so, what had stopped you?

How do you think, can there be something that can make you change your mind on CTB/VAD?

If I understand correctly, you are in physical pain in first place? Is there any treatment to change that?

 

[tooafraidtodiez]

Hi!

I am sorry that you have to go through that. It really does sound like that less fear during attempts can come due to more external pressure.

Have you tried to CTB before? If so, what had stopped you?

How do you think, can there be something that can make you change your mind on CTB/VAD?

If I understand correctly, you are in physical pain in first place? Is there any treatment to change that?

No my physical pain is due to my posture and related to vision problems. It doesnt seem like it can be treated. So does my anxiety and OCD is probably the result of my previous encephalitis. I have attempted CTB before and unfortunately felt asleep before i can drink the SN

 

[enso]

No my physical pain is due to my posture and related to vision problems. It doesnt seem like it can be treated. So does my anxiety and OCD is probably the result of my previous encephalitis. I have attempted CTB before and unfortunately felt asleep before i can drink the SN

Thank you for sharing!

It really sounds very harsh. I can't even imagine how much strength it requires to endure something like this.

Your choice is absolutely understandable.

When it comes to making things more bearable, is there something like that? Maybe antidepressants? Someone recommends psilocybin mushrooms to lessen depression symptoms and suicidal ideation thoughts.
How do you think, if it would work, would you like to try? Is there something that can change your opinion in current situation?