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Mary Janex

Mary Janex

Probably dissociated
Apr 2, 2025
66
I can't imagine lying down and waiting to die, without panicking. I'm so afraid of doing something stupid and calling an ambulance. I also don't want to listen to music because I don't want to be found with music playing. lol
 
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UserFromNowhere

Member
May 4, 2025
77
Benzos or other medication that calms the brain is typically recommended for that reason. As for me, that's exactly what I intend to do: take medication, take SN, listen to music, go to sleep one last time.
 
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askmeifimatree

meow
Mar 20, 2025
27
Same, I feel like I'll panic and botch my own attempt. 30 min is a long time of just sitting and waiting. I thought maybe being in call with someone would help but it's probably better to die alone. There's no medication or drugs that can help with this, it's just will power.
 
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Ikkuna

Ikkuna

Member
Jun 7, 2025
20
Id probably cry and just call an ambulance
 
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Life'sA6itch

Lights out please
Oct 29, 2023
334
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karakoltriste

karakoltriste

I hate psychiatry
Apr 30, 2025
248
idk maybe I would take a large dose of Xanax
 
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cioran.legend

cioran.legend

Member
Jun 5, 2025
9
I think the same thing, I think hanging myself would be faster or with a nitrogen tank, 3 or 4 deep breaths is all you need to become unconscious according to the research and experiences I have read.
Why wouldn't you like to be found with music if you don't mind me asking? :hihi:
 
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ketopia

ketopia

Missing my Mom
Jun 4, 2025
84
I'm powering through with raw delusion :) This salty shot of liquid is just homemade nyquil. I'll light some incense, wash my face and brush my teeth, put on comfy clean PJs, probably throw up a little but that's okay. Then I'll crawl into bed with the fan blowing and lights off, cuddle my weighted dinosaur plushie and go to sleep. I'm just going to sleep cause I don't feel good, that's all.
 
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onmywaytothebusstop

onmywaytothebusstop

~ Transgirl looking for eternal tranquility ~
Feb 9, 2025
230
just close eyes, lay back and listen to music. It's not like it takes an eternity
 
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L9my

L9my

they are dead, for they have no dreams
Nov 22, 2024
1,077
music

before that maybe i'll be able to be in a vc with someone and i'll just have to destroy the device im using to talk to them after like 20 minutes (estimate)
then i should be able to use an mp3 player to just listen to music

sorry that i couldn't think of anything that hasn't got to do with hearing things, it's just that i need audio for too many things
 
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Alexandra0

Alexandra0

Don't Fear the Reaper
Sep 30, 2023
475
I'll just lie on my right side. I don't know how all this will happen, but I really hope for death. Death, please take me to your kingdom at last
 
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unluckysadness

Member
Jul 9, 2025
41
i fear a lot about panic attack after taking SN, even with benzos. my second option is jumping but i fear heights... third option : to accept this shitty life and pray for diyng naturally. The three options are shitty. Going under a train is shitty too. grrrrrrrrrr 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
 
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jazzcat621

jazzcat621

My heart for the whole world
Jun 30, 2025
47
Cuddle up with a partner (if I have a CTB partner) and play music. Probably leave a last few messages for people i care about in my final moments.
 
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Raven2

Raven2

Arcanist
Dec 1, 2022
467
I felt quite ill the other night I had a bad migraine and felt very nauseous and I thought to myself this is how it would feel taking sn but probably 10 times worse with tachycardia and I'd probably be panicking.
 
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Spicy Tteokbokki

Spicy Tteokbokki

매운 떡볶이
Oct 11, 2020
258
I felt quite ill the other night I had a bad migraine and felt very nauseous and I thought to myself this is how it would feel taking sn but probably 10 times worse with tachycardia and I'd probably be panicking.
Reminds me of my friend having me try weed, but like 30x the normal first time dose. I had a rapid af heart beat and couldn't move without feeling terrible. I thought I was about to die right there and then and did all I could to not go into a full panic attack, lol.
Did request for her to put on anything Korean to chill me the tf out a bit which helped a bit, but yeah, put me off from weed.

For SN I'd likely put on a good Korean movie I love to re-watch and just go out with a bang — because the movie has a lot of explosions, heheheh ~ ~
 
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Pinkmermaid

Member
Apr 9, 2025
34
Cam someone please tell me how you obtain SN in UK and how you take it please?
 
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viljalauss

viljalauss

he/they 22
Aug 22, 2023
194
Reminds me of my friend having me try weed, but like 30x the normal first time dose. I had a rapid af heart beat and couldn't move without feeling terrible. I thought I was about to die right there and then and did all I could to not go into a full panic attack, lol.
Did request for her to put on anything Korean to chill me the tf out a bit which helped a bit, but yeah, put me off from weed.

For SN I'd likely put on a good Korean movie I love to re-watch and just go out with a bang — because the movie has a lot of explosions, heheheh ~ ~
i sometimes also find korean language calming, for some reason :) which movie?
 
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Sergeant45

Sergeant45

Student
Jun 11, 2025
113
My potential ctb partner wants me to hold them, so that's what I'll be doing. I'll feel no fear, at least I hope I won't all of a sudden, because that'd be the moment I have waited for, for very long. I'll think of my favorite things a last time or message someone a goodbye to keep myself distracted.
 
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starboy2k

starboy2k

the only thing I can do right….is be a burden
May 21, 2025
142
Tbh if I can't get ahold of any benzos, I will either meditate until I can't "feel" my own presence orrrrr Ill just bang my head against the damn wall until I lose a few brain cells.
 
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Carrot

Carrot

Specialist
Feb 25, 2025
352
Good question. I'd rather have my phone far away otherwise I could damage it or call for help.

There was one time I truly wanted to die and did not care about SI at all. It wasn't SN. I kept eating hundreds of pills until I lost consciousness.

With SN obviously you just sit and do nothing. Hopefully I'd be in such a state that I woulrn't mind it. Maybe eating a benzos pill every few seconds would make it easy. I don't have benzos though and I'm not sure how it would go without it.

I wish somebody could figure out an OTC drug that could be used alongside SN, without any complications. Or tic tacs, literally anything. Somebody suggested having candy in your mouth but not swallow it. I find it hard to imagine that eating candy would ruin the method, but hat do I know.
 
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Spicy Tteokbokki

Spicy Tteokbokki

매운 떡볶이
Oct 11, 2020
258
There was one time I truly wanted to die and did not care about SI at all. It wasn't SN. I kept eating hundreds of pills until I lost consciousness.
It was such a weird feeling. I kept downing multiple pills with each handful and eventually it felt like i was super drunk and i had to lay down, and then the myriad of other symptoms hit me, lol. Ironically my internet went out right as it all started so I was utterly alone at the time. Peak comedic timing from the universe.
 
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DeadSouls

DeadSouls

Member
Jun 23, 2025
27
I can't imagine lying down and waiting to die, without panicking. I'm so afraid of doing something stupid and calling an ambulance. I also don't want to listen to music because I don't want to be found with music playing. lol
I think I will just lie down with some pretty music on. It doesn't take long before you're unconscious.
 
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coked_pigeon

coked_pigeon

Member
Sep 21, 2023
18
I can't imagine lying down and waiting to die, without panicking. I'm so afraid of doing something stupid and calling an ambulance. I also don't want to listen to music because I don't want to be found with music playing. lol
It's definitely something I worry about in terms of SI taking over. Best case scenario I drift off with the help of Xanax before the SN kicks in.

Why does it matter if you're found with music playing? Genuinely asking, are you afraid that your taste will be judged in the post-mortem or something? Lol, I'm the opposite, I literally made a funeral playlist 😂

I want to have music playing in my final moments but I'm going to leave my phone far enough away from me that I won't panic and call someone for help. You could maybe have a show or movie playing if you don't want to listen to a song? I think some sort of background noise is better than confronting impending oblivion in my mind, ahaha.
 
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SewingDust

SewingDust

Member
Aug 14, 2024
8
In my imagination - I will be sitting and waiting, reconciled and confident in what I am doing.
In reality - I'm likely to be drugged with fast-acting benzos like alprazolam. So still sitting, but with an emptiness in my mind.
 
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Alexei_Kirillov

Alexei_Kirillov

i must rest here a moment
Mar 9, 2024
1,344
I'm probably just going to be trying not to throw up
 
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