Tired

[Deleted member 14177]

I am so tired, I am so weak.
I am shaky, I am anxious.
I am leery and uncertain.
I'm never the same me as yesterday. I don't know me tomorrow, either.
I love you, I hate you. I don't even know if I truly know you.
Are your intentions good? Or they're probably bad. Everyone must hate me.
I can't save everyone. Oh, I really, really want to save everyone.
I'm so honest, but I am hurt.
I didn't mean to lie, but I am hurt.
I am prepared, but I am scared.
I am ready to breathe my final goodbye, but there's much left to do.
My lowest moments are screaming... "just go. The rest can wait. Or sit, and stale."
The rope is never tight enough around my neck.
And oddly, she feels good.
Oh but, I need it to feel bad. And so she brings me back again.
And I decide; I am prepared, but I am scared.
And the voices remind me:
"Instead
Take your pills.
Stir your poison."

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I'm tired too. Physically and mentally.

 

[Deleted member 14177]

I'm tired too. Physically and mentally.

Many hugs.

 

[GreyMagic]

Its a hard place to be. Believe me I know I am exhausted of life too.

You aren't alone in your struggles.

 

[Esc9434]

I have been exercising lately. However, the old feelings of being tired is setting in again.

 

[Deleted member 14177]

I'm desperate to get up, do some yoga, practice my contortion... but anymore my body is just so tired. My mind can't convince me to try. Slowly, I have given up on the things I'm most passionate about. It seems all I can do is either sit and write or paint... so I do. I just write and write until my hands either ache or become numb or I simply can't see through my tears. I'm trying to hold onto whatever is left of me, mostly for the people who deserve the strongest version of me in their own lives. but they are losing me. As I am losing myself and there is nothing but a clock in my mind, ticking down it's timer, slowly pushing me closer to my existential freedom.

 

[Jean4]

Good job as always!

 

[Deleted member 14177]

Good job as always!

Thank you Jean