Venting The way I'm feeling now, I think I could ctb... but I can't

[Rue89]

Fuck, I'm really feeling like shit. A mix of anxiety and depression that I haven't felt in a long time (anxiety is nothing new but I haven't felt this worsened depression mixed with it in years). I really want to drink my SN right now, but I can't today or tomorrow, so even though this sucks, I hope that I still feel this way Monday morning cause I believe I could really go through with it.

 

[Overnoutofhere]

I have felt overwhelming anxious lately as well, I think it's all the craziness going on in the world. The world is going down, before our eyes! Today I to felt ready to CTB to, I wanted to use the ReBreather but now it sounds sketchy. I wish you peace and love.

 

[Rue89]

Well I'm still feeling the same today. I've also been doing a lot of self-talk, reminding myself how worthless I am and how much better off everyone will be without me here. If I can keep this up through tomorrow morning I really think I can overcome my anxiety enough to do it.

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

I totally relate to this, I have to wait til Tuesday before deciding and it feels like forever. I'm sorry you are hurting this much and I understand as it's totally shitty.

 

[rikamonie]

i want to go now too.. but i also cant it really sucks, i hate waiting, i feel like im suffocating every day i just want it to be over but i have to wait atleast a few weeks sending peace to you :')

 

[SpottedPanda]

I know I have the drive to commit suicide, but to me, method is everything. I'm stuck right now because the two methods I have in mind have a chance of not working, and then it's back to the drawing board, if that's the case. I know eventually I'll find something suitable that works, and that I can go along with, but in the meantime I'm in limbo.

 

[Rue89]

I'm still feeling like shit and I think tomorrow is the day. If I'm still feeling it tomorrow morning I'll post a goodbye thread around 3-3:30am central time and keep updating throughout the process.
I just packed up my SN, food scale, etc in my backpack, and what I'm feeling now is all too familiar. Hopefully I'm doing this for the last time this time.