the guilt of loved ones

[justfloating]

I don't feel any guilt for wanting to CTB as its not something I feel I have a choice about, im gonna miss some people like crazy and I wish it didn't have to be the way it was, but I don't feel guilt for the pain they with endure.

However, my reasons to CTB are caused by two other people who have knowingly hurt me and put me in this position. One of them I don't give a shit about if they feel guilty because maybe they should. But the other person I love so much despite everything he's done to me, I want him to recognise what he did wrong, but I don't want him to be consumed with guilt. He once said how the stress ive out him though by me being suicidal made him want to jump in front of a train with me, and he I don't think he meant it but I don't want to risk him ever being in my position.

I've got a good draft of my note to him but idk how say what I want in a non-destructive way

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Im my casa, they did their best but I know I'm helpless. So doesnt matter how hard they try to help me.

 

[justfloating]

Im my casa, they did their best but I know I'm helpless. So doesnt matter how hard they try to help me.

I wish I could put an 'you did everything you could, its not your fault'. but I can't honestly say something like that. it is his fault and he will know its his fault without the note. I don't want to put all the blame on him, like I understand that most people wouldn't react to my situation by CTB so it is my head thats doing this, but he made decisions and knows full well the consequences of his actions.