only getting worse after i lost my love

[w4itingforthesun]

just an update from when i last posted i guess but i feel so empty and lost and the aching pain of my love that is still strong for him hurts so much every day. i just want him back i can't handle these days without him i just want to end it all. i hate living with this feeling and would rather not have to live with these feelings or thoughts any longer. i'm hurting so badly and just want to end it. im really trying to think of the ways i can ctb but i don't really have access to anything. it's frustrating.
i only wanted him now he's gone. you'd think after over a month i would make some progress but i just can't. i don't think i can handle it for much longer. i feel too heartbroken to function.
i want my sweet perfect boy back but he left me and i would do anything to have him back

 

[ctb_warrior]

just an update from when i last posted i guess but i feel so empty and lost and the aching pain of my love that is still strong for him hurts so much every day. i just want him back i can't handle these days without him i just want to end it all. i hate living with this feeling and would rather not have to live with these feelings or thoughts any longer. i'm hurting so badly and just want to end it. im really trying to think of the ways i can ctb but i don't really have access to anything. it's frustrating.
i only wanted him now he's gone. you'd think after over a month i would make some progress but i just can't. i don't think i can handle it for much longer. i feel too heartbroken to function.
i want my sweet perfect boy back but he left me and i would do anything to have him back

I have been through this..and after 3+ years of feeling this way and having anxiety disorder which got escalated into major depressive disorder.
I'll sincerely advise that it's no point trying to open the door that got closed.
I know this dreaded feeling which is not just emotional but also can be felt in the entire body. Go through it somehow. It takes some time to adjust to this suddenly created void. It's definitely not easy to go through it. The best thing you can do is keep your mind distracted as much. Sharing this from my own experience because she played tug of war and mind games for 3 years so that she doesn't gets called a cheater. So, my trauma was not short lived, it stayed for 3+ years. Only now i have been able to overcome it.

 

[w4itingforthesun]

time didn't heal shit for me either. five years later i'm still haunted by the memory of her, a constant, grinding ache that never really fades. i remember the cold silence that followed, the way she just walked away like i was nothing. it stabs me every single day, a sharp, jagged pain that reminds me she doesn't give a damn about the person she broke. i'm just counting down the days until i can check out so i never have to carry this weight again. i want to be gone before the memory consumes me entirely. your feelings are valid, ik where you're coming from and feel for you. hopefully in your case you reach a better result.

i'm sorry to hear you feel so similarly even after 5 years. i can't imagine myself being alive for 5 more years or even just another year for that matter. i've never loved a person so much than i did him. i've never cared or wanted someone so badly as i did him. i don't care about finding anyone else, i don't care to feel that way for anyone else ever again. that's why i need to end it because there is no kind of future for me. i've been feeling as you said it a sharp jagged pain every day and the relief of death would be so much better than having to feel this way every single day. i can't do it anymore

I have been through this..and after 3+ years of feeling this way and having anxiety disorder which got escalated into major depressive disorder.
I'll sincerely advise that it's no point trying to open the door that got closed.
I know this dreaded feeling which is not just emotional but also can be felt in the entire body. Go through it somehow. It takes some time to adjust to this suddenly created void. It's definitely not easy to go through it. The best thing you can do is keep your mind distracted as much. Sharing this from my own experience because she played tug of war and mind games for 3 years so that she doesn't gets called a cheater. So, my trauma was not short lived, it stayed for 3+ years. Only now i have been able to overcome it.

i don't think i can ever overcome it

 

[ctb_warrior]

i'm sorry to hear you feel so similarly even after 5 years. i can't imagine myself being alive for 5 more years or even just another year for that matter. i've never loved a person so much than i did him. i've never cared or wanted someone so badly as i did him. i don't care about finding anyone else, i don't care to feel that way for anyone else ever again. that's why i need to end it because there is no kind of future for me. i've been feeling as you said it a sharp jagged pain every day and the relief of death would be so much better than having to feel this way every single day. i can't do it anymore

i don't think i can ever overcome it

Heart has the ability to heal. Take care of yourself for now