Petitenoisette
Indescisive
- Apr 25, 2020
- 5
Recently, I've been contemplating suicide (that's mainly why I'm here) but recently I've been struggling with violent feelings as well, wondering why I want myself to leave instead of getting rid of the problem. But, these violent thoughts have turned into actions and have just made me want to die more because now I feel like a violent failure, and that makes me more depressed and its just a vicious loop. It's just so painful and I can't stand it anymore, constantly wondering what will trigger a problem and just becoming paranoid in general. Life sucks and I can't figure out if I want to die or to make others die and its just way too confusing for me. I'm really wondering how I became such a mistake and why I'm here. I haven't done anything good so why am I here? Picking is too much of a struggle, so I'm delaying it but the real question is how much longer can I delay it? When will I stop being indescisive? Will I ever just make sense? I don't know, but I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get to it! :*)
