Venting Still trying but failing

[SchizophrenicFantasy]

I tried making my situation better I've really really tried.. I got back onto my meds, got a new job, fixed my car up, and I still can't seem to shake my desire to die. I feel so alone no matter what I do. I even stepped away from here for a while but being away has made me realize how alone I truly am and I don't know how I'm going to make it through the next month. I gave it almost a month and my mind has stayed set on death. I don't really eat much anymore I'm losing a lot of weight and my family members have started wondering if I'm going back down that hole.. might go camping this weekend and do it then not sure but I just want to hear all of your thoughts. I welcome all feedback

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

Hey, I remember reading some of your old posts. Sorry to hear about your situation, I know that feeling of crushing loneliness quite well. While you're still here, try to eat a bit more and give your meds some more time to start working. It is good to hear that you fixed your car and got a new job. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you good luck.

 

[Ghost2211]

It sounds like you've put a lot into making things better. I understand what you mean by no matter what you do to improve life suicidal feelings don't go away. It's like that for me as well. I bury it under being busy, and use gaming to chase away the loneliness. I wish there was more I could do to help, but I'm here if you ever need someone to listen.

 

[Valon]

I feel you, bro. It's hard to try and improve your life or even attempt to do things that are good for you when you literally give zero shits. I have been blowing my money on dumb shit lately and I know it's going to come back to bite me in the ass, but it's whatever man. Wishing you the best.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i'm sorry to hear that you've hit a bump in the road. if you're not 100% sure you want to ctb, please don't do it.

don't feel as if you're a "failure" for not having a smooth ride on recovery road. bumps in the road are inevitable, and it's not your fault that you hit them. you're trying.

i don't have any solid advice, but we're here for you should you want to vent.