Discussion Opinions on relationships?

[fallingbehind]

I dont believe in them. I cant even tolerate myself, why the fuck would I ever want to tolerate someone else by choice?

 

[OhWellDerp321]

In todays society are relationships really worth it?

People are barely making enough to take care of themselves.

Online dating also made things worse.
But unfortunately thats the only real way to date now.

The days of going out and finding a romantic partner are gone. Forget hitting on people at the bar. That's a lawsuit now.

You like softball? Find a romantic partner at a adult softball team! Yeah okay. Then you realize all of them are already in relationships.

So online dating eh? Well guys, unless you are 6 foot tall and look like chris evans, or unless you make 100k, you arent getting many matches. Even if you do, the best you will get is a few texts before you get ghosted.

Ladies, the more good looking you are, the more matches you will get.

Thats what online dating is. Pick the best option for the ladies. And for the men, its pick whatever option you have if any.

There is no such thing as finding true love anymore.

 

[cookiencream]

They're kinda weird if you think about it. Humans (typically) want relationships to last a lifetime but we aren't built like that really. The only person that will stick with you forever in life is yourself. Relationships are temporary yet we desire them to be "permanent" it's a weird thing. And kinda cruel imo because that conflict just makes it hurt even worse when it happens. Idk why the human brain isn't just already okay with the temporary nature of all human relationships. And I would be lying if I said I didn't wish they were, or at least that they lasted my lifetime but they don't and never will. Either they'll die before you or leave, both suck if the person made me happy and wasn't toxic. I don't even know if I can love a person for a lifetime myself yet I desire it, strange isn't it. But all this further adds to my decision to ctb, I do not like this life in its entirety. I do not like being human, period.

 

[Idealrope]

Most romantic relationships are temporary and transactional. Very few are genuine and long last lasting. But I know when I was young I had it in my head that a soulmate was waiting for me. Im 37 now and realized it was just a fantasy. Im now seeing friends getting divorced and finding out a lot of them were unhappy most the time during it. I think its natures way of trying to get you to procreate by making you feel in love with someone with raging hormones and dopamine .Granted there are those rare couples that stay in love for life

perfect description,totally and brutally realistic...nothing to add
pondering about the pros and cons of a relationship is completely out of the question for someone like me-there is a reason I am an active member here on SaSu and the relationship topic I really couldn't care less about given that my primary focus is my chosen method to ctb with

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

They've been useful and formative for me, certainly. I've won, I've lost, I've found what works, what doesn't. What gets you respected, what gets you ghosted. I think to some degree, I've been dissociated from the real me for a long time, and treating relationships as a kind of social experiment/educational experience. It's almost like I've stepped outside myself and been observing how certain behaviors yield certain results. I've learned a lot through trial and error in the past 20 or so years, and I have to say that human dynamics is one the few things that genuinely does interest me.

I've noticed a real shift in how relationships are these days versus how they were when I was younger. I can only assume there have been some major cultural/societal shifts and evolving attitudes that have brought about these changes.

Overall, I'd have to say that Schopenhauer's observations are closest to what I'd consider "relationship truth." I won't go into all of it here, but for my money, it seems to be the most accurate.

 

[anka]

I feel like I could be more free if I never consider it a part of life. I'm actively trying to condition myself into thinking this though I don't know if I will be successful. Maybe it's impossible.

 

[Eriktf]

i dont see the need for em, its nice when ppl support each other but for the most part its not necessary

 

[Hellis]

I'm some type of asexual so biased opinion incoming:

Waste of time. Waste of energy. Nobody deserves to put up with my bullshit and frankly I like myself too much to conform for others. Oh and if people don't conform for me then I could never date them.

I'm kinda not relationship material and I like it that way. I like the idea of being loved, though.

 

[orcapythia]

I want to be in one but I don't think I'll meet anyone willing to deal with my problems that I would like. I have a husbando and it's ok

 

[Celerity]

At 32, I probably sound pretty damn ridiculous to the older folks here if I say that I missed the boat, but I really can't help but feel that I have.

It took me far too long to come to terms with my sexuality. In the meantime, I spent years operating under the delusion that I just had a low sex drive and that I had high standards. Nope, just gay, and I am eccentric enough that most people do not find me appealing (or I them). I am not sure if I will ever learn how to find or maintain any romantic relationship, much less a healthy one.

Most people I know are involved in relationship I would personally find very awful. My parents' marriage was borne purely from complacency, as unions from unplanned pregnancies usually are.

All that said, I still long for the woman I fell in love with. I know that it would never work between us, but since she just up and left me hanging, it's hard not to keeping asking, "What if?".

 

[OvercastingClouds]

Never been in one. Although I fantasize about it I don't see myself being considered attractive enough for someone to want to be with me. Besides I'm aware considering my mental health it's best I shouldn't anyways as I don't want to put that on my partner. I have more of a desire to make friends, I'm not worried about relationships. Tbh social media can't strayed me away from it also.

I'll take my fictional characters and go

 

[bleeding_heart_show]

Familial relationships make my life unnecessarily complex.

Acquaintances/friendships are voluntary so I find them tolerable, yet I am to maintain them for some reason.

All I have ever wanted was for people to stop imposing their beliefs/will onto me. Is that too much to ask?

 

[ElTopo]

Never been in one. I feel completely unworthy of love and affection, always felt that way, I look okay and have my life under control from an external point of view, but years of loneliness and being beaten by familiar trauma, abuse and having to care for a mentally ill person, I think it changed me, they were destructive as an experience but the worst part is I was alone through all of it and I just wished I could have someone that cared about me to talk with, but no one wanted to stick around, so yeah it makes me feel utterly unlovable, even more than what I felt before, no one will ever care enough to understand me and that makes any kind of love senseless to men. Plus I feel absolutely emotionless now, I have no feelings and no capacity to fall in love anymore, last time I fell in love was with an escort some years ago, I never believed it could work but it felt nice to have that sort of connection for a while and I remember that time dearly, but today even sex feels emotionless for me.

 

[NonEssential]

I'll give an opinion on it once I ever get to be in one, but I don't know if there exists a woman whose self-worth is low enough to see me as a suitable partner.

 

[soon4good]

Never even remotely been in any romantic relationship or anything close to something comparable. I don't know if it is just another OCD thing but I keep yearning to be in one and sometimes wish it more than anything else yet I never put any effort toward making that happen. I have no idea where to even start with just making friends, let alone getting a girlfriend especially after I've socially isolated myself and fried my brain doing drugs alone for years and years and have lost what feels to me the very basics of social skills with people I do not know.

 

[eggsalad6167]

I think I suffer from some form of dependant personality disorder, I really can't be on my own for long. If I'm going to struggle my way through life it'll have to be with someone else.

I can easily understand why a lot of people on here would be against it though.

I'm not normal and it takes a special kind of person to put up with me in a relationship, so when such a person appears I feel extremely fortunate!!

 

[Satori Komeiji]

Was in a relationship once about 5 years ago, got burnt so bad that I haven't been interested pursuing one since. There have been maybe 2 close friends since then that if they were to ask me out I'd say yes but if they never do that's fine as well. Close friends are nearly as good as a relationship to me. It just sucks all my friends are online.

 

[blood-orange]

Being in a relationship made me very happy at the start. But i think placing too much emphasis on the relationship to make me happy is part of what led to it's downfall. I acted very clingy and obsessive because i felt like i needed it to survive. I think i was just treating the validation i got from him like another drug that i can abuse.
Aside from that, there was still a lot positive in the relationship (at least at the start), and at the start i genuinely felt like it gave me a reason to live. I was the least suicidal in that first year than i had been in a long time. Just to be understood so deeply, and have that person that i could talk to for hours made it feel like all the suffering in my life was worth it. Towards the end though, when it was failing, it was the worst feeling ever and i was probably the most suicidal i had ever been.

If i do end up getting into another relationship, i know that i need to have reasons to live outside of that relationship. I haven't figured that part out yet to be honest though. I don't have a strong sense of identity and so i think i have to be loved/cared for by another person to feel good about myself. Basically i'm a BPD mess.
I'm not giving up hope forever, i would love to be in a loving relationship again. However now i have experienced a relationship i know that it will not fix your mental health problems, it will not on it's own make you not want to die. If you treat it like that you will exhaust your partner.

 

[bleeding_heart_show]

Acquaintances/friendships are voluntary so I find them tolerable, yet I am to maintain them for some reason.

*yet I am unable to maintain them

Argh.