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AnonymousL

AnonymousL

Arcanist
Apr 5, 2023
420
Everyone thinks i'm doing better, that i'm in a better place.

I was, but i'm falling back down and I am afraid to tell anyone. I dont want to dissapoint my boyfriend. He's so happy that I am doing better.
He's saying I can look for a job soon and that I will earn more money and then we can do so much more fun things together. But I cant.

I am thinking about dying everyday. I am dissapointed when I wake up. I feel an extreme guilt towards everyone around me.


I AM NOT DOING OKAY!!

I wanna scream it, I wanna shout it of rooftops but I am afraid..

My dad said that its time to get better since nobody wants to stay with someone that is mentally ill. That my boyfriend will leave me.
What if i never get better?
 
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dinosavr

dinosavr

and if i’m turning blue, please, don’t save me 🌛
Dec 14, 2023
695
Of course it can still get better. I know it's hard to see it from your perspective but for real, there's hope and no wonder others stick to it so much because that's basically all they can do for you. It's reasonable but mostly really sad and unfair to you.
Try to think about what they say as a floppy way of supporting you. And please, don't let anyone tell you that what you're going through doesn't matter or that it's easy. That's not what life should be about. You should be able to stop living in a survival mode, it's just your right
 
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Not A Fan

Not A Fan

don't avoid the void
Jun 22, 2024
189
My dad said that its time to get better since nobody wants to stay with someone that is mentally ill. That my boyfriend will leave me.
Damn. Yeah this kinda thing is why I keep my mouth shut. Like you can just choose a time and date to not have mental illness anymore. God when people say shit like it just makes it seem like it's completely your own fault and decision. Hello you can't just magically become a different person. ughhhhh
 
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emptyenvelopes

emptyenvelopes

Student
Jun 15, 2024
103
I think the saddest thing is that when you're not okay, you just want to be seen as you are and accepted anyways. It's exhausting and anxiety producing to pretend you're okay when you're not. When they people in your life won't let you feel seen, I think it's time to move on and fine people that will.
 
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indefinitesleep

indefinitesleep

It is what it is
Jun 29, 2024
134
if theres hope in your situatuon cling on to that, I dont know your situation but any bit of hope that it was improving youve felt recently shows its not too far away for you
 
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Lost Magic

Lost Magic

Illuminated
May 5, 2020
3,205
Have you tried medicine or therapy? Might as well exhaust all options just to see what happens. Nobody can live in your shoes or really know what goes on inside a person.
 
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U

UKscotty

Doesn't read PMs
May 20, 2021
2,447
There is always hope of recovery until our last breath.
 

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