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Badger88

Member
Sep 30, 2023
23
Let me introduce myself.


I'm 36 years old and I had been in a relationship for nearly 6 years. We were engaged, had a child together, bought a house, even had the dog. We were planning to marry in June this year, so everything had been booked, dress purchased etc.


One lunchtime, she tells me she's not in love with me anymore, hasn't been for some time. I'm apparently emotionally empty, which may have some truth, but I had been on Citalopram which I think had suppressed any feelings. Needless to say the wedding was cancelled.


We (well I thought ) tried to make amends, I attended therapy and thought something was happening. She kept going over to a 'gay' colleagues house most weeks, I wasn't sure on this and tried to explain to her that it didn't feel right and made me anxious, but she ignored me and told me to grow up. Fast forward to a couple weeks ago, she's left me for good, taken everything I ever hold dear.


Today she finally admitted she had been sleeping with this man.


All my hopes and dreams are shattered and I'm just an empty shell of a human being. Tells me I'm selfish for even considering to CTB.


I'm waiting on my last ingredient, SN and I'll be gone.
 
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WaitingPatiently

WaitingPatiently

:(
Mar 29, 2023
38
You aren't selfish for considering the bus.
Those were words coming from someone who left you in your time of need, someone that doesn't deserve who you are.

Six years is a long time, and I know it must hurt. Badly. I can't even imagine what you are going through, and I hope my deepest sympathies can reach you through text.

Your hopes and dreams can exist without someone like her in them, I'm sure of that.

But whatever you choose to do, you are entitled to do. Don't feel badly about whatever it takes to be well again.
 
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Badger88

Member
Sep 30, 2023
23
Thanks both, this woman has chipped away everyday for months and still continues to do so.

I can never rebuild my life, so there's no point in having one.
 
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Not Sure

Member
Oct 27, 2021
37
Well, same age, my relationship was 18 years, 2 kids, married, and I just received my divorce papers (I have a few more days to answer). Considering I have no more family except my parents and one grandpa, no more friends as she took them away from me, no stable job and my company's in the gutter I am considering CTB also (again), but it's really hard just going through with it... Have SN and keep backing out, lost 10 kg already just fasting and fasting and fasting... and not finishing up the job.
 
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Badger88

Member
Sep 30, 2023
23
Well, same age, my relationship was 18 years, 2 kids, married, and I just received my divorce papers (I have a few more days to answer). Considering I have no more family except my parents and one grandpa, no more friends as she took them away from me, no stable job and my company's in the gutter I am considering CTB also (again), but it's really hard just going through with it... Have SN and keep backing out, lost 10 kg already just fasting and fasting and fasting... and not finishing up the job.
Sounds pretty much the same as me. I've lost 6kg in a week!
 
B

Badger88

Member
Sep 30, 2023
23
The day is getting nearer, SN is in the country at customs. Hopefully it will be a swift release.
 

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