I feel another spiral coming.

[HFK40000]

I recently went on a seven week spiral where I went on leave from work, I didn't leave my house more than once a week and used substances because I planned to CTB a month ago. The one thing that changed my mind is that my ex texted me back and we made very very loose plans to see each other. We had one phone call a week ago and she had ghosted me again so I'm right back at the bottom. I'm going on another leave from work starting tomorrow because I feel everything getting worse again. This time I have my estate plan signed and everything packed up so I can CTB at any moment. I just need to make it through this shift tonight and I can spiral out some and in peace. I wish my life had more meaning than hoping for someone to love me.

 

[shibby]

before you do pass, js know that i love u and appreciate you. i've read some of your forums and i really wish u the best. hope your find peace and end ur suffering. love ya man!

 

[HFK40000]

before you do pass, js know that i love u and appreciate you. i've read some of your forums and i really wish u the best. hope your find peace and end ur suffering. love ya man!

Thank you for the kind words. It does mean a lot that you have read my other post. This forum is one of the few places I can share my thoughts and feelings. I love you too.