I feel so much guilt

[Butterfly-death]

I'm currently planning my ctb and I feel so guilty. For my mom mostly. She may not be the best mother ever but deep down I know my death will break her heart and I feel horrible about that but I can't stay for her. She will be devastated though. I wish it didn't have to be like this. But I just can't bring myself to wait until she dies to ctb I can't take much more suffering. But I'll look at her and have conversations with her and just think about how I am actively planning to ctb and I feel so much guilt for that

Also my cat. She's so precious to me and I cry knowing I'm gonna leave her but again I know I can't stay. At least I know she's in good hands when I'm gone, being with my family. I feel so bad about it but I know she will be okay when I'm gone

The guilt is eating away at me but I know ctb is right for me it is what I truly want

 

[Nat.]

I feel the same way about my cats. I'm all they have... I hope you can find peace.