Story Family member grieving

[shibby]

I had planned to ctb this august, so rn it's really close to that time. I didn't build any meaningful connections with anyone, not even with my family. Even until my last moments, i isolated all my friends, stopped hanging out with them and crashed out on them, js so i had no connections left. However, i started an art account with a lot of descriptions and my plans. I gave it out to some of my ONLINE FRIENDS who i didnt have strong connections with js to let them know. They told one of my other online friends (who i crashed out on) who purposefully found my sister's instagram and messaged them. I was never close with my sister growing up. We did our own things and had very different interests. We didn't even act like we knew each other in hs. My sister reached back to my and started crying. I have never seen her cry like that and it pains me. I now have regrets as I really never wanted this to happen. She kept threatening me saying she would tell everyone in our lives abt this if i had plans to continue. I do sorta love her but idk what to do anympre. My mind, which had straightforward plans, has been thwarted out of path. Idk what im saying. Im not rlly asking for advice cause i think i'll secretly live likr another year to piss her off. Anyone experience this lol

 

[CrawlingInMySkin]

I'm sorry someone found out, mate. It's never easy when that happens. There'll be pain present any time anybody ctbs, even if it's just the people cleaning up the body. It's just an unavoidable fact of death. I haven't really experienced it because when I had anybody in my life none of them truly cared about my plans, which I guess might've been a blessing. It's good, though. It means she loves you at least a little bit. Just knowing that can be comforting sometimes. Love and peace, mate

 

[shibby]

I'm sorry someone found out, mate. It's never easy when that happens. There'll be pain present any time anybody ctbs, even if it's just the people cleaning up the body. It's just an unavoidable fact of death. I haven't really experienced it because when I had anybody in my life none of them truly cared about my plans, which I guess might've been a blessing. It's good, though. It means she loves you at least a little bit. Just knowing that can be comforting sometimes. Love and peace, mate

Yea it was really a sensation i haven't felt in so long. It really does feel like a curse since i now have smth that is affecting my plans. Im sorry to hear that from u tho :( love u too man!!

 

[CrawlingInMySkin]

Yea it was really a sensation i haven't felt in so long. It really does feel like a curse since i now have smth that is affecting my plans. Im sorry to hear that from u tho :( love u too man!!

Yeah... Having someone who actually cares about you does kinda throw a wrench in the gears. And don't worry about me, mate. I'll end up fine either way my life goes. Thanks a million though :). If there's any more I can do or you just want to talk, just ask.

 

[shibby]

hah thank you so much. having sm to talk w abt this really does give u peace in mind. appreciate it!