My dad wouldn’t care if I killed myself

[Butterfly-death]

My dad doesn't care that I want to die. Thinks I'm sensitive for it. He wouldn't care if I killed myself as long as I do it away from here. I'm just a burden since I have to live with my family because I can't get a job. I hate my life and myself. I'm so fucking worthless and pathetic and if I could CTB I would. I'm not trying to live to spite my dad if that's what anyone is thinking in fact if I could I would give everyone what they want and just die already. It's better for me and everyone else. I'm so tired. I don't know what to do and now I'm crying while writing this. I just want it to all be over. It's like a never ending nightmare

:(

 

[CarbonBased]

Respectfully, fuck your dad. I feel so sorry for you
I wish I had a way to make you feel better.. You don't deserve to feel this way :(

 

[tonicer]

I know that all too well. To my dad i am the biggest disappointment. No job no wife no children no money no car no house no nothing. I studied but after over 600 job applications and over 25 interviews in the past 3 years alone no luck. I feel so burned out with all that crap. I can't kill myself right now because my mom is still alive. She was always good to me and loves me even though i am nothing. I guess that's real unconditional love.

 

[Ben 111]

I know that all too well. To my dad i am the biggest disappointment. No job no wife no children no money no car no house no nothing. I studied but after over 600 job applications and over 25 interviews in the past 3 years alone no luck. I feel so burned out with all that crap. I can't kill myself right now because my mom is still alive. She was always good to me and loves me even though i am nothing. I guess that's real unconditional love.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this...2 many of us feel this way...how old are you

 

[tonicer]

I'm so sorry you have to go through this...2 many of us feel this way...how old are you

I'm 43. My entire life was nothing but depression and bad luck so far.

I got a couple of chances at a girlfriend but i fumble it so hard every single fucking time.

I got a chance at a good job but one guy there makes my life hell and i almost ended up beating him up. I am not an aggressive or violent person but that guy found my weak spot and attacked it constantly. I quit after 5 weeks.

Now my mom was diagnosed with cancer and got it removed but it's still being determined if it spread or not.

I just want a tiny little bit of luck. Just once. Maybe a lottery win or a job or a girlfriend or something else.

I guess i should consider myself lucky that my body is still working fine without any major issues. I read a lot about other people my age who suffer constant back pain or from other chronic issues.

I still want a little bit of luck and i want it now. This year. I demand a tiny bit of luck.