Discussion im having weird thoughts, anyone else relate?

[westernromanpatriot]

hey all!

im definitely a depressed mess but im not actively suicidal at all rn. I know for sure that I don't want to live *too* long, can't see myself growing old that's for sure... the thing is, not yet knowing how I want to die or even how I *can* die makes me despair. It makes me feel like I'm "trapped" here so to speak.
At the same time, I have so much I'm looking forward to and things I still want to do, if I died tomorrow I'd probably think my life was wasted...

Anyone else feeling like this?

 

[undecidedfool]

I understand what you mean. I've definitely had phases like this. Sometimes just figuring out a loose plan calmed the "trapped" feeling. I don't think it hurts to think about, especially when you have no interest in actually following through.
Sometimes I would visualize how I'd get close, then after I'd visualize how I'd step away from the ledge or put the gun down or whatever it was that time.
Currently I'm not feeling the wanting to live part, but that it what it is. I don't think you have to be suicidal to think about escaping.