I'm a lost cause

[Sadbanana]

There is too much trauma. When I get triggered I feel like I'm going insane. And I get completely possessed by anger. When I'm like that I feel like I hate everyone, I act like a malignant narcissist. It feels like I'm the anger in the moment.

I know there is a wound that this anger is protecting me from feeling. Now I'm too dissociated to know what it is. But I know it's brutal. It's so painful I feel like maybe it would be better to die than to experience it.

 

[LongJacks]

There is too much trauma. When I get triggered I feel like I'm going insane. And I get completely possessed by anger. When I'm like that I feel like I hate everyone, I act like a malignant narcissist. It feels like I'm the anger in the moment.

I know there is a wound that this anger is protecting me from feeling. Now I'm too dissociated to know what it is. But I know it's brutal. It's so painful I feel like maybe it would be better to die than to experience it.

I understand what you mean completely... sometimes we get hurt way too much and become aggressive to defend ourselves from it happening again... it's exhuasting