Venting I don't feel sad when I self harm.

[Bunabelldearest]

I just don't... I used to cry alot when I'd do it and get really really depressed but now I just feel numb after. I just do it because I'm mad. I get so angry at myself, at the world, and at other people that I just cut, and then I get even more pissed when the cuts arent as deep as I'd like. So I do it more, and more, until in the wise words of my mother a few years ago, "her arm looks like hamburger meat!!" IDK if thats weird or not but its just how I feel. ¯\_ (ᵕ—ᴗ—)_/¯

In the same vein as this is scars. Everyone thinks I'm really ashamed of my scars when in all reality I like having them. It makes me feel like I'm actually sick,, it gives me a sense of satisfaction when they scar bad. I don't truly feel saddened by the idea of SH. At this point its just a hobby, a really anger inducing hobby. Like playing a rage game! Sorry if thats weird. I'm really weird.

 

[FlankerSandwhich]

I just don't... I used to cry alot when I'd do it and get really really depressed but now I just feel numb after. I just do it because I'm mad. I get so angry at myself, at the world, and at other people that I just cut, and then I get even more pissed when the cuts arent as deep as I'd like. So I do it more, and more, until in the wise words of my mother a few years ago, "her arm looks like hamburger meat!!" IDK if thats weird or not but its just how I feel. ¯\_ (ᵕ—ᴗ—)_/¯

In the same vein as this is scars. Everyone thinks I'm really ashamed of my scars when in all reality I like having them. It makes me feel like I'm actually sick,, it gives me a sense of satisfaction when they scar bad. I don't truly feel saddened by the idea of SH. At this point its just a hobby, a really anger inducing hobby. Like playing a rage game! Sorry if thats weird. I'm really weird.

I don't think that's weird at all. I mostly do it as a way to regulate my emotions, and I think being ashamed of it isn't necessary at all. I also totally get the satisfaction of having visual proof of your illness, its kinda validating

You're more brave than me though, since I'm too scared of what other people will say about mine. That's why I stop cutting in the summer since, because of my complexion, my scars don't show that bad when they're healed

 

[Cauliflour]

I just don't... I used to cry alot when I'd do it and get really really depressed but now I just feel numb after. I just do it because I'm mad. I get so angry at myself, at the world, and at other people that I just cut, and then I get even more pissed when the cuts arent as deep as I'd like. So I do it more, and more, until in the wise words of my mother a few years ago, "her arm looks like hamburger meat!!" IDK if thats weird or not but its just how I feel. ¯\_ (ᵕ—ᴗ—)_/¯

That's your body building up tolerance, hence why you feel the need to go deeper. It's actually pretty common.

At this point its just a hobby, a really anger inducing hobby. Like playing a rage game!

I pray you lose this mindset soon, this is how addictions start.

 

[franos666]

I also don't feel sad after self-harm. I think it helps me cope with emotions that are too big for my mind

 

[current93]

I've never felt sad or cried when self harming because it was never really something i'd do out of sadness. it's a whole different feeling for me than what most people describe....

 

[ThePainKiller]

I only do it when im at my lowest, even then every single cut helps me relax for some reason, as if my muscles started calming down because of it.