I want to die

[StarryStarry]

I don't know if I'm allowed to swear on this site or not. If I'm not, please forgive me up front. I have to vent or I will burst into flames.

I hate my fucking life. I've thought of nothing but dying since I was very young (even tried a couple of times). My mother was an asshole - no wait - I'm sorry an asshole has a purpose - she has none. She constantly told me how worthless I was, how I would never amount to anything, how ugly, fat and repulsive I was and that I would never find anyone to love me. Well, I've heard all these things since I was young enough to understand what they meant. She told me this shit my entire life. I HATE HER!!! I've lived my entire life with her in my head. I can't stand it anymore.

I'm so angry at everything and everyone. Dying will be a relief for me. My little girl was murdered and I need and want to be with her.

I'm so sorry I know I sound as if I'm 3 years old, but I just had to vent.

IF your intention is to respond to this in a negative way - don't bother responding. There are enough assholes in my life to make me feel bad I come here for support - the only place I can find it.

Starry Starry Night

 

[FuneralCry]

Life really is horrible. I'm sorry you had to deal with someone like that, some people are just so awful and cruel. It is understandable wanting to exit when you are constantly suffering. I wish you the best, I hope you find what you are looking for.