Venting I want to be given up on

[willitpass]

I want out of this residential. So fucking bad. I want to be discharged so I can CTB. I don't want to get better. Yet I'm not allowed to leave. I've stopped doing any assigned work and am only doing what is required of me to retain extra privileges. I want my team to decide they can no longer help me and find me a new place to go. That would be my ticket. The transition from one facility to another would be my chance to do it. But I had a session today with my therapist where he told me that they aren't giving up on me. That they see "how much progress I've made" and they believe that they can help me. It infuriated me. I haven't made any progress at all and I don't want to be helped. I've been telling them that over and over and no one is listening. Just fucking let me die. I know myself. I know what I want. I know how I feel. I just want to die.

I'm not myself anymore.

Let me go.

 

[JustA_LittlePerson]

But no matter how pathetic I was, you and Mom still treated me the same as always.

That's what scared me most of all.

I wanted you to say "I don't love you."

"I despise you."

"You're not my son."

I wanted you to tell me that and throw me out.

I wanted you to make me give up.

 

[a.hamza.13]

But no matter how pathetic I was, you and Mom still treated me the same as always.

That's what scared me most of all.

I wanted you to say "I don't love you."

"I despise you."

"You're not my son."

I wanted you to tell me that and throw me out.

I wanted you to make me give up.

I also want the same.

 

[pixi]

I'm not myself anymore.

Let me go.

that part.
i don't think ive wanted to scream anything to the world more <3