Venting never been much more hopeless

[rxcha]

been depressed my whole life, in middle school i almost didn't want to be happy. now it's really all i can think about. graduated and i've got nothing left. the only reason i ever talk to people is to get drunk or high. in between that i just work and sleep. i think im just incompatible with life to be honest. i love interacting with people but no one ever seems to want to talk to me. i think i just have an off putting disposition, cant understand it. i'm pretty good looking girls hit on me, but they get bored after talking to me for a bit. i don't even expect anything from them i just wants friends. but no one ever wants to be friends with me. i even did sports at some point but even that was taken from me. i was pretty good, it made me so happy. can't really put up with it much longer, feels like it's all over already. for years i've been hoping every car i walk by sideswipes and kills me. i walk through bad neighborhoods praying someone shoots me. i cross roads when cars are going past hoping someone takes me out. can't ever express these feelings with anyone because no one cares.

 

[here_for_now]

there isnt anything i can say that will change your situation but what i can say is your not alone. and i care. im in a similar predicament minus the good looking part. dont be so hard on yourself there isnt anything wrong with not fitting in a fucked up world, hence why you use substances to cope because reality is painful.

 

[rxcha]

there isnt anything i can say that will change your situation but what i can say is your not alone. and i care. im in a similar predicament minus the good looking part. dont be so hard on yourself there isnt anything wrong with not fitting in a fucked up world, hence why you use substances to cope because reality is painful.

thank you for the nice commment, i hope we can both be happy someday