Venting I want a cat but I want to CTB

[SomewhatLoved]

I went to the animal shelter yesterday just to pet all the animals. I saw this cat who had likely been abused, they had his area draped off with a blanket because he was scared and hiding. I'm sure he was probably traumatized or neglected because he was so untrusting of humans it made me really sad I wanted to take him home with me and take care of him, but I'm very suicidal. I wouldn't want to get him and then end up CTBing and him going to back to the shelter.

I have basically no friends, I don't really care about my career much anymore, no relationship, no real motivation in life. I've been actively selling off my belongings so that my family doesn't have to deal with so much stuff when I die. I've never been at this point where I've had notes written and all that's left is to get rid of some things. But I feel like now all of a sudden life is taunting me with things (like a pet cat, or my relative is selling a motorcycle which I want to buy). Just little things that might make me a bit happy but I would still be really lonely and not feel motivation for anything.

Part of me wants to try and keep going for this cat because I think most people want "nice" or "friendly" cats who like to be pet and cuddle and not a cat who hides all the time and I'm worried he might not get adopted. But at the same time I know I would still be suicidal and not want to go on or accept certain things in my life.

 

[theolivanderroach]

I wouldn't want to get him and then end up CTBing and him going to back to the shelter.

I mean he's already in a shelter so even if you ctb and he goes back, at least he had some time with a loving owner. And maybe you'd help the cat overcome its fears so it wouldn't be as challenging to get him re-adopted if it comes to that.

 

[TANETS]

Personally I think a cat would pause my plans of ctbing for a while , but I can't own one because circumstances. I don't wanna give the wrong advice but often in suicidal people, pets can help a lot

 

[TragedyBornCrimson]

Get the cat, try everything you want to do before you think about ctb

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I agree with others. Try the cat, it might just give you a reason to live. My cat certainly helps me feel less lonely.

 

[SomewhatLoved]

Get the cat, try everything you want to do before you think about ctb

I agree with others. Try the cat, it might just give you a reason to live. My cat certainly helps me feel less lonely.

Personally I think a cat would pause my plans of ctbing for a while , but I can't own one because circumstances. I don't wanna give the wrong advice but often in suicidal people, pets can help a lot

I mean he's already in a shelter so even if you ctb and he goes back, at least he had some time with a loving owner. And maybe you'd help the cat overcome its fears so it wouldn't be as challenging to get him re-adopted if it comes to that.

I might get the cat and try. Life is hard and I don't want to go on living but maybe I can find enough strength in this to continue going on.

I will attach a picture of him below. His name is "Tucker"... I hope whoever hurt him gets what they deserve. This world is too good for humans.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Awww he's so adorable. He reminds me of my cat so it hits pretty close! I have no doubt that you two can help each other.

Also, it seems the mention of cats has summoned @Pluto lol

 

[Thisisnotaname]

Own a pet can help but only if you are able to dressing them

 

[2messdup]

I went to the animal shelter yesterday just to pet all the animals. I saw this cat who had likely been abused, they had his area draped off with a blanket because he was scared and hiding. I'm sure he was probably traumatized or neglected because he was so untrusting of humans it made me really sad I wanted to take him home with me and take care of him, but I'm very suicidal. I wouldn't want to get him and then end up CTBing and him going to back to the shelter.

I have basically no friends, I don't really care about my career much anymore, no relationship, no real motivation in life. I've been actively selling off my belongings so that my family doesn't have to deal with so much stuff when I die. I've never been at this point where I've had notes written and all that's left is to get rid of some things. But I feel like now all of a sudden life is taunting me with things (like a pet cat, or my relative is selling a motorcycle which I want to buy). Just little things that might make me a bit happy but I would still be really lonely and not feel motivation for anything.

Part of me wants to try and keep going for this cat because I think most people want "nice" or "friendly" cats who like to be pet and cuddle and not a cat who hides all the time and I'm worried he might not get adopted. But at the same time I know I would still be suicidal and not want to go on or accept certain things in my life.

If you had this cat it could end in one of two ways. You and the cat from a bond of love and understanding and he grows to trust you and you have a genuine reason to live and find happiness in his trust and love (IF he tames). Or - despite feeling guilty about it you ctb and his need for stability and his trust are blown apart again making his life even worse. Could you ask the rescue where he is if you could visit regularly and help him to trust humans, and maybe even sponsor his care? He can't be let down in life again even if there's a CHANCE it could work. Maybe only commit to him in a way that helps him to be adopted by someone but doesn't risk him having the upheaval of repeated rehoming.

 

[cali22♡]

I love cats

 

[blackbeauty]

I cats!

Thinking about your situation, maybe you should consider fostering? This gives you the opportunity to love (and be loved) and have companionship before the cat finds its forever home.

Also, I'll be honest an abused cat deserves a stable home so I mean no disrespect when I say this but if you do have confirmed CTB plans and the cat has to go back to the shelter I think this would further affect it's mental health because it could be impacted by separation anxiety if it bonded with you.

Tucker is so so so adorable though, I can understand why you gravitated to him.

 

[MercenariesofMidgar]

I cats!

Thinking about your situation, maybe you should consider fostering? This gives you the opportunity to love (and be loved) and have companionship before the cat finds its forever home.

Also, I'll be honest an abused cat deserves a stable home so I mean no disrespect when I say this but if you do have confirmed CTB plans and the cat has to go back to the shelter I think this would further affect it's mental health because it could be impacted by separation anxiety if it bonded with you.

Tucker is so so so adorable though, I can understand why you gravitated to him.

I agree... that or maybe taking care of some elderly cats that don't have much time left (and giving them comfort in their final moments)

Maybe Tucker could give you a sense of purpose? I was at my happiest when I took care of a cat left to die by its mother. I was in no environment to take care of it so my friend adopted him. For a while when I was sad I would just think of him... but that's me and my love for cats. I'm in no position to say for certain but maybe bonding with Tucker can help you find some purpose? If you still have second thoughts then I lean towards going for it. But like blackbeauty said if you know you're going to ctb within the next few weeks then it might affect the cats mental health further.

(Nice profile picture by the way I fucking love Satoshi Kon and all of his movies.

 

[Pluto]

 

[ocdsucks]

I went to the animal shelter yesterday just to pet all the animals. I saw this cat who had likely been abused, they had his area draped off with a blanket because he was scared and hiding. I'm sure he was probably traumatized or neglected because he was so untrusting of humans it made me really sad I wanted to take him home with me and take care of him, but I'm very suicidal. I wouldn't want to get him and then end up CTBing and him going to back to the shelter.

I have basically no friends, I don't really care about my career much anymore, no relationship, no real motivation in life. I've been actively selling off my belongings so that my family doesn't have to deal with so much stuff when I die. I've never been at this point where I've had notes written and all that's left is to get rid of some things. But I feel like now all of a sudden life is taunting me with things (like a pet cat, or my relative is selling a motorcycle which I want to buy). Just little things that might make me a bit happy but I would still be really lonely and not feel motivation for anything.

Part of me wants to try and keep going for this cat because I think most people want "nice" or "friendly" cats who like to be pet and cuddle and not a cat who hides all the time and I'm worried he might not get adopted. But at the same time I know I would still be suicidal and not want to go on or accept certain things in my life.

Did you end up getting the cat?

 

[SomewhatLoved]

Did you end up getting the cat?

Yes I did. I'm still suicidal, and I have lost pretty much every other reason I had at my time of posting to keep going - so really I'm only still here for him.

I don't really trust my family to take care of him in my wake. If he gets better from being traumatized and I think there would be someone I could trust to take care of him I will most likely leave this world but for now I'm going on for him.

Here are some pictures of him. He has gotten a little bit better and is ok with me being close to him (which he wasn't at first), but he still won't let me (or anyone else for that matter) pet or touch him at all. He won't let anyone else even get close to him.

Since I've adopted him I've realized there are multiple places on his body that he has scars/scratch marks. I think he likely had to fight to survive and was being neglected/not fed enough.