100memoryleaks
forever sorry
- Jul 6, 2026
- 28
that's it. i want him to say there's still a chance. i would literally do anything he wants for him to stay
because i need to be honest, i'm scared. i'm scared of what i'm gonna see after i die. what does nothing feel like? i still wanted to do so many things with him. there's so much more i wanted to experience. but for the past 2 and a half weeks i'm living an empty existence that's getting worse and worse. i can hardly keep pretending i'm still ok. i can't even believe that much time has passed. it's hell. i have no motivation for anything. i have no energy anymore. i'm so tired. my head hurts and my stomach hurts all the time.
he blocked me everywhere except for one place. probably by accident, but i've been messaging him there. he told me what i did and why he's leaving me. i know what i did, i know why he feels hurt by it. i wish i could fix it. i would do anything to get his trust back. he hasn't said anything for 2 weeks. i must have sent him like 10 messages since then. is he reading them? is he ever gonna respond? what does he feel? doesn't he miss me too? how could i have let this happen to my best friend in the world? i'm so selfish and gross. i hate my desperation for control. i hate how bitter and toxic i was in the past.
i wish my sweetheart would say something. i thought he noticed my improvement over this past year but i guess it's not enough. please come back, my sweetheart. because death is still better than a life without him.
because i need to be honest, i'm scared. i'm scared of what i'm gonna see after i die. what does nothing feel like? i still wanted to do so many things with him. there's so much more i wanted to experience. but for the past 2 and a half weeks i'm living an empty existence that's getting worse and worse. i can hardly keep pretending i'm still ok. i can't even believe that much time has passed. it's hell. i have no motivation for anything. i have no energy anymore. i'm so tired. my head hurts and my stomach hurts all the time.
he blocked me everywhere except for one place. probably by accident, but i've been messaging him there. he told me what i did and why he's leaving me. i know what i did, i know why he feels hurt by it. i wish i could fix it. i would do anything to get his trust back. he hasn't said anything for 2 weeks. i must have sent him like 10 messages since then. is he reading them? is he ever gonna respond? what does he feel? doesn't he miss me too? how could i have let this happen to my best friend in the world? i'm so selfish and gross. i hate my desperation for control. i hate how bitter and toxic i was in the past.
i wish my sweetheart would say something. i thought he noticed my improvement over this past year but i guess it's not enough. please come back, my sweetheart. because death is still better than a life without him.
