I should have killed myself years ago.

[Zzzzz]

Several years ago I had an opportunity to kill myself with a gun. I know I could have overcome the survival instinct, but I chose not to do it for other reasons. It is the biggest regret I have in my life by far. I feel profound regret about it .My life after that time has been total shit. I know that the universe was giving me an opportunity to save myself from my current suffering. It's a terrible, terrible feeling. But I won't make that same terrible mistake again. If I ever receive a golden opportunity to kill myself, I'm taking it without hesitation.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish that I left this world a long time ago as well, but I really wish that I was never born in the first place. I do feel like I have suffered enough at this point and leaving earlier would have prevented a lot of pain. This life really is so cruel and unfair and to me it is horrifying how life is even a thing in the first place. The fact that things can get so much worse is so terrifying. The way that you feel is understandable.