Venting I really can't take it anymore

[corvoscuro]

But I can't go go through it. My ctb is partial hanging, but everytime I panic. I never pass out , as soon as I get those weird feeling in my arms and legs I chicken out. I really can't explain how in pain I am, but I'm sure you all get it just right. The other day I tried it and I almost died as I struggled to take the noose off from the numbness and uncoordination. It was horrible. It's not peaceful at all to me, it's very scary. I just wish I had a gun, but it's impossible to get one where I live.

Do you have any tips on how to overcome the fear and SI?

 

[nowayout*]

But I can't go go through it. My ctb is partial hanging, but everytime I panic. I never pass out , as soon as I get those weird feeling in my arms and legs I chicken out. I really can't explain how in pain I am, but I'm sure you all get it just right. The other day I tried it and I almost died as I struggled to take the noose off from the numbness and uncoordination. It was horrible. It's not peaceful at all to me, it's very scary. I just wish I had a gun, but it's impossible to get one where I live.

Do you have any tips on how to overcome the fear and SI?

Hanging isn't my method tried it couldn't figure it out. But I to am still trying to figure out how to overcome SI and fear.

 

[FuneralCry]

That method sounds horrible and terrifying. I'm sorry that you are suffering so much to get to this point. I wish that ctb was easier more than anything, all I want is to peacefully pass away. I know that this life is unbearable when everything is so hopeless. I do not know how to overcome the survival instinct, ctb is so difficult as humans are programmed to survive, but I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[CommitSudoku]

Hanging is very prone to SI in my experience, I've read here there's supposed to be a way to make passing out quick and less on the pain but haven't achieved it myself but plan to test more eventually. Personally I've just kind of used choking as a form of self harm and in a way practice makes it a bit easier, or maybe not easier but you know what to expect so a bit less fear. And if you go in wanting to hurt then it becomes something desired not feared. Even becomes a challenge in a way to see how far you can get. Not sure my twisted thinking is helpful here lol I don't know how to properly overcome SI, but for fear I personally find learning more helps me since there's a bit less unknown. Not necessarily a good suggestion either but getting drunk can make me more reckless personally so less afraid as well. And then just getting to such a bad point mentally that that pain is worse than that from attempting.
I wish you the best whatever you decide to do going forward.

 

[corvoscuro]

I've read here there's supposed to be a way to make passing out quick and less on the pain but haven't achieved it myself but plan to test more eventually.

If you can find a link about that method can you post it please?

 

[CommitSudoku]

To be honest I haven't tried linking anything before. In one of the pinned topics in these forums there's "Suicide Resource Compilation" just check whatever they have for hanging there and anything else you're curious about. My memory fails to what topics I've browsed aside from those linked there since it's been a lot.
If you decide to continue to pursue partial there's probably a megathread where people might offer up better opinions and have more experience.