I just want a partner

[Insomniac]

I've never been in a relationship and I'm 24.

I'm above average in term of attractivity level so I don't understand why that is. I'm also a kind and compassionate person but I simply cannot seem to find love.

And I have lowered my standards so much. So so much. I feel so desperate.

No relationship, no job, no money, toxic family.

I'm in so much trouble guys.

 

[Busticket]

I've never been in a relationship and I'm 24.

I'm above average in term of attractivity level so I don't understand why that is. I'm also a kind and compassionate person but I simply cannot seem to find love.

And I have lowered my standards so much. So so much. I feel so desperate.

No relationship, no job, no money, toxic family.

I'm in so much trouble guys.

I also never had a gf and I am almost 30.
But for me I know why, I have social anxiety.
I am shy with women.
And I look average and have no money or good job.

 

[death137]

Same :(

 

[LifeQuitter2018]

Do you ever get any match on Tinder or OKCupid ?

 

[Roseate]

I've never been in a relationship and I'm 24.

I'm above average in term of attractivity level so I don't understand why that is. I'm also a kind and compassionate person but I simply cannot seem to find love.

And I have lowered my standards so much. So so much. I feel so desperate.

No relationship, no job, no money, toxic family.

I'm in so much trouble guys.

Try to find a job first. And if you're looking for love, you'll be waiting a long time. Plenty of relationships are loveless. There are barely that many relationships with couples that are truly in love with each other. So you'll be waiting forever. And some people go through life never experiencing real true love.

 

[Bärchen]

I am 35, fat and ugly. But i like many other things and lost my interest in women.

 

[WornOutLife]

According to what you say, you shouldn't have any problems finding a girl if you keep on looking for her.
You've just had bad luck and the ones you've found so far are not for you.
Don't give up!!!

Hugs,

Matt

 

[Gabriel.88]

Do you ever get any match on Tinder or OKCupid ?

The majority of women nowadays have really long list of requirements if they should swipe left or right.
I consider me an 8/10 physically, but at socializing oh man I´m a 2/10, I don´t even have friends loool how the hell will I get a gf? Well It doesn't matter anyway, I don´t even mind ,cause now I do things that give me joy :P

 

[Gaybonez]

I've never been in a relationship and I'm 24.

I'm above average in term of attractivity level so I don't understand why that is. I'm also a kind and compassionate person but I simply cannot seem to find love.

And I have lowered my standards so much. So so much. I feel so desperate.

No relationship, no job, no money, toxic family.

I'm in so much trouble guys.

Spoiler alert: Love won't make you happy.

 

[Some1's_Wasted_Fetus]

Do you ever get any match on Tinder or OKCupid ?

Dating apps work against the average guy tbh. If you aren't at least a 9/10 or higher with perfect facial symmetry, height, and good looks you'll be lost in a sea of good looking men. It's 100% visual and people swipe on looks alone since there's no real way to display your personality and there are more desperate men on dating apps and not enough women for them all so the competition is stiff :(

 

[Gaybonez]

Do you ever get any match on Tinder or OKCupid ?

This is horrible. You shouldn't be dating people if you're this fucked in the head. You're just damaging other people

 

[death137]

Spoiler alert: Love won't make you happy.

Maybe not for you but it will make some of us

 

[Weary Soul]

Two things that you wrote stood out to me (and please know this is not a criticism, just something I saw in what you wrote that I did not quite understand or do not have a full picture on). You wrote:

...

And I have lowered my standards so much. So so much. I feel so desperate.

No relationship, no job, no money, toxic family.

I'm in so much trouble guys.

What specific standards did you have that you lowered?

And, I am not sure if this is what you meant, but you also added, no relationshp, no job, no money, toxic family.

I am wondering if you are looking for a relationship (or something external) to get out of the problems of no job, no money, and a toxic family?

It wasn't clear to me so it is hard to respond, but, I can say that I am so sorry you feel that you are in so much trouble. It is a horrible place to be.

<3

 

[Gaybonez]

Maybe not for you but it will make some of us

The majority of the people here are suicidal. Almost every suicidal person out there is a mess and you are no exception. If you honestly believe romantic companionship will finally make you happy, you're in for an even bigger treat from life than you have now.

 

[Insomniac]

Do you ever get any match on Tinder or OKCupid ?

To be honest, I get hundreds of matches and messages on dating apps but feel too insecure to reply. I forgot to mention that I suffer from social anxiety.

I also never had a gf and I am almost 30.
But for me I know why, I have social anxiety.
I am shy with women.
And I look average and have no money or good job.

Oh yeah... forgot to mention that. I have crippling SA as well

Try to find a job first. And if you're looking for love, you'll be waiting a long time. Plenty of relationships are loveless. There are barely that many relationships with couples that are truly in love with each other. So you'll be waiting forever. And some people go through life never experiencing real true love.

This is so true... most relationships are indeed loveless. I think I put too much pressure on myself for falling in love. I just need to get over the fact that love is a thing of the past. No longer relevant in our societies...

Spoiler alert: Love won't make you happy.

I know, because it's fleeting :( and once I get it, I'll worry about keeping it. Life is hell...

Two things that you wrote stood out to me (and please know this is not a criticism, just something I saw in what you wrote that I did not quite understand or do not have a full picture on). You wrote:


What specific standards did you have that you lowered?

And, I am not sure if this is what you meant, but you also added, no relationshp, no job, no money, toxic family.

I am wondering if you are looking for a relationship (or something external) to get out of the problems of no job, no money, and a toxic family?

It wasn't clear to me so it is hard to respond, but, I can say that I am so sorry you feel that you are in so much trouble. It is a horrible place to be.

<3

I meant that I no longer go for attractive and tall guys. I'm okay with being a fat, old or ugly person.

To be honest, yes. I'm looking to use my relationship as an escape to my problems. I know it's really bad but I'm tired of suffering alone. I need someone to have my back at least once in my life.

And I need that person to have money because if he doesn't, we won't be able to be together (need money to travel to him and live together). Since I'm broke... God I just want a way out of my mom's house. And I want to be loved and cared for by someone. I know this is unrealistic and it'll probably never happen :( I'm so stupid and embarrassed by what I desire.

If you honestly believe romantic companionship will finally make you happy, you're in for an even bigger treat from life than you have now.

I agree but I feel like it's never a good idea to chose loneliness. As humans, we need others. Just because I suffer from a mental illness shouldn't mean that I need to give up on companionship. I'd rather suffer in someone's arms than alone...

I don´t even mind ,cause now I do things that give me joy :P

This is great! I found that what gives me the most joy is giving attention and love to people who are below me socially, economically etc. Valuing them and giving them all my time and affection, instead of wasting my time chasing people above me who don't even notice that I exist.

Dating apps work against the average guy tbh. If you aren't at least a 9/10 or higher with perfect facial symmetry, height, and good looks you'll be lost in a sea of good looking men. It's 100% visual and people swipe on looks alone since there's no real way to display your personality and there are more desperate men on dating apps and not enough women for them all so the competition is stiff :(

Tbh I used to do that but not anymore. Now I mostly swipe on below average guys but they are too insecure to reply and act really awkward unfortunately. I often get ghosted by them lmao.

 

[death137]

The majority of the people here are suicidal. Almost every suicidal person out there is a mess and you are no exception. If you honestly believe romantic companionship will finally make you happy, you're in for an even bigger treat from life than you have now.

Some ppl here are suicidal because they aren't in a relationship. Some are suicidal by other things but could be improved by love. I'm suicidal mainly because I'm ugly and short. I know I couldn't fix those problems but if I find love then it will motivate me to fight this pointless cursed life.

 

[Amumu]

Spoiler alert: Love won't make you happy.

Spoiler alert : As someone who probably has already been in a relationship, you probably can't understand why people can be suicidal if they've never been in a relationship. Your comment was condescending as hell - but don't worry, you're not the only one.

 

[Weary Soul]

Thank you for clarifying!

A couple of things:

I also had crippling SA and it IS crippling - and that may be why you have had trouble finding a relationship. There are treatments for SA these days, and it might just help you over that hurdle of SA to find a relationship if a relationship is truly what you want.

I would add the caveat to be very careful in looking for someone external to save you from your very difficult and toxic situation. Relying on someone else to save you is not a healthy solution in my opinion.

I am so very sorry you are in such a bad place. I so wish I had the ability to help people get out of situations like this because I lived it myself and now just how terrible it can be.

Much love and hugs to you.

 

[Roseate]

Spoiler alert : As someone who probably has already been in a relationship, you probably can't understand why people can be suicidal if they've never been in a relationship. Your comment was condescending as hell - but don't worry, you're not the only one.

I've never been in a relationship and I'm not suicidal because of it. Don't talk for all of us. Speak for yourself. And in general it won't make you happy, I think if you're suicidal because of that then what you honestly need is a good therapy to help you with that cuz that is fixable. You can't depend on others to make you happy. And if you get into a relationship with that mindset that the relationship will make you happy, it just won't work cuz you are going to put your everything into it and if it doesn't work it, and tbh (I am a pessimist with a side of realism to it but definitely a pessimist) it won't, you will be feeling worse than you did before the relationship. Like I said, sounds like some of you guys need a therapists to help you with that.

 

[death137]

I've never been in a relationship and I'm not suicidal because of it. Don't talk for all of us. Speak for yourself. And in general it won't make you happy, I think if you're suicidal because of that then what you honestly need is a good therapy to help you with that cuz that is fixable. You can't depend on others to make you happy. And if you get into a relationship with that mindset that the relationship will make you happy, it just won't work cuz you are going to put your everything into it and if it doesn't work it, and tbh (I am a pessimist with a side of realism to it but definitely a pessimist) it won't, you will be feeling worse than you did before the relationship. Like I said, sounds like some of you guys need a therapists to help you with that.

I'm not the person you replied to but I want to say you should also speak to yourself only. Just because you don't feel bad about never being in relationship doesn't mean all are like that. Yes relationship is risky but we are suicidal. If I found love but it ended badly then I will return to the state I'm already now. I've nothing to loss.

Did you say we need therapy to be fixed? You are funny.

 

[Makko]

Like I said, sounds like some of you guys need a therapists to help you with that.

Here's the solution to all our problems, everyone: therapists! Alright, the mystery of suicide is solved, shut this place down.

 

[Pookie]

Relationships aren't all they're cracked up to be. Sure, they can be nice in the beginning but in the longterm they can involve a lot of hard work to keep the relationship alive, unless you get very lucky and find the "perfect" partner for you.

 

[yive]

i hate to see how every fucking thread about never being in a relationship immediately turns into pro-life bullshit

 

[nolifer]

Suicidal = wanting to end life aka a nolifer.
Finding a partner = wanting to do the opposite aka a prolifer
People want to find a relationship usually want a prolifer, not a nolifer.
Prolifer = someone who's happy to be alive, driven to excell and succeed and building a great future. Interested in hobbies, passionate, energetic, takes care of themselves, etc.
Nolifers usually lack greatly in all the above because they're depressed and what's the point when they're just going to CTB anyway.

 

[Gaybonez]

Some ppl here are suicidal because they aren't in a relationship. Some are suicidal by other things but could be improved by love. I'm suicidal mainly because I'm ugly and short. I know I couldn't fix those problems but if I find love then it will motivate me to fight this pointless cursed life.

In other words, you have no sense of self. I really hope you aren't older than your mid twenties with that mindset. It's self destructive. The people around here who were "happy" in a relationship were at best a classic case of Kurt Cobain. To no one's surprise he was miserable outside and inside a relationship. People romanticize love to the point of delusion. If you can't love and be happy with yourself you won't be truly happy with anyone else.

Spoiler alert : As someone who probably has already been in a relationship, you probably can't understand why people can be suicidal if they've never been in a relationship. Your comment was condescending as hell - but don't worry, you're not the only one.

Okay, if you want to believe that it made you happy and want to die now then okay. But you shouldn't be pursuing a relationship if you're suicidal. I could care less what someone does outside of a relationship. It's only an issue when you throw the disaster that is you onto someone else. If you're contemplating suicide and actively dating either A. Get professional help or B. Wallow in your own pity.....ALONE. No one should be involved in your B.S. I really am not shocked at the breakdown of a relationship of anyone around here if it came from a place of not understanding what I am saying. It's one thing to lose someone to death or otherwise and be suicidal. But, If you have no consideration or empathy for a fellow human being and instead want to whine about how you want love despite the real risk of potentially damaging other people, then I have no sympathy for you.

 

[death137]

In other words, you have no sense of self. I really hope you aren't older than your mid twenties with that mindset. It's self destructive. The people around here who were "happy" in a relationship were at best a classic case of Kurt Cobain. To no one's surprise he was miserable outside and inside a relationship. People romanticize love to the point of delusion. If you can't love and be happy with yourself you won't be truly happy with anyone else.

You got to have a reason to love or respect yourself. I've none so I hate myself. The reason I seek love isn't because I'm obsessed with the idea of romance. I mean I want a girlfriend or wife for love sake but I also want to it for validation. Everyone needs validation in life although the type differs. For me personally the main validation I seek is love validation. I've very low self esteem so if a woman loves me then it means she saw some worth in me. This will boost my confidence and motivate me to fight this pointless life.

Anyway I won't find love. I don't even try to talk to women irl because of my social anxiety. Even if I find the confidence to talk to them I know they probably wouldn't be interested in me. So why even bother? I've long given up hope in life and just waiting for the day I will finally kill myself.

 

[Insomniac]

i hate to see how every fucking thread about never being in a relationship immediately turns into pro-life bullshit

Sorry about that. I made this mostly to vent, because I feel like not having a partner is a major contributor to my suicidality

 

[Anonymous_A]

Gotta love yo self before loving anyone else op

 

[natali4]

Try to find a job first. And if you're looking for love, you'll be waiting a long time. Plenty of relationships are loveless. There are barely that many relationships with couples that are truly in love with each other. So you'll be waiting forever. And some people go through life never experiencing real true love.

I've been in 3 loveless relationships. I loved them, but never received it in return. It truly sucks that people have such a hard time loving each other.

 

[Insomniac]

. I loved them, but never received it in return.

Until recently, I couldn't conceive of one sided love. I thought it was impossible for a human to love someone and not be loved in return because it made no sense to me. But now I have experienced it and know that it's actually possible and it really sucks so freakin much