Venting I feel hopeless

[manic]

I've been suicidal for years and now I am getting worse. I have been getting help for years and been hospitalized multiple times and tried almost every treatment. Everyone feels helpless so that makes me feel hopeless about living. I hate living so fucking much. Everyday is a pain and god forbid I talk about CTB in front of family (and I have no friends) my therapist for 5 years even feels lost with me.

 

[divinemistress36]

I feel the same <3

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly understand feeling so tired of suffering in this existence, I also find it painful to exist. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[no_choice]

I feel the same as well :(

 

[vanillamilkshakes]

I feel the same, I wish you all the best though

 

[manic]

I certainly understand feeling so tired of suffering in this existence, I also find it painful to exist. But anyway I wish you the best.

tysm!

I feel the same, I wish you all the best though

hope u feel better

 

[enid coleslaw]

I've been suicidal for years and now I am getting worse. I have been getting help for years and been hospitalized multiple times and tried almost every treatment. Everyone feels helpless so that makes me feel hopeless about living. I hate living so fucking much. Everyday is a pain and god forbid I talk about CTB in front of family (and I have no friends) my therapist for 5 years even feels lost with me.

Same, friend. All have abandoned me, I wake up with the sadness that I woke up. I try to explain how I feel and those around me just don't get it. They never will until they are in the same leaky boat. The few things that make me happy are becoming dimmer and dimmer. I used to be okay with the thought of living my days alone with my animals but it's gotten harder to entertain that fantasy. One of the last straws was my ex. We were best friends before we got together. We started dating and it was great and I always told her if she didn't want to be with me anymore then to just tell me because letting it stay on would hurt worse. We ended up breaking up because "I just don't love you anymore and this isn't a negotiation". Goes and hooks up with her ex who sa'd her, cheated etc. Yet I was the one who would sacrifice anything. We decide to start over slow, she pushes me away and I ghost her for like a year. She contacts me apologizing for everything. She dated around despite "not wanting a relationship ATM" it's like if it's me just say so. I'm not stupid. Anyway, she was my FP. That emotional connection I needed. Her and her mom get these horrible neighbors and instead of dealing with it her mom sells the house and out of the blue she tells me she is moving to the neighboring city. At this point we were each other companions it was her and I. Her leaving was tearing me up and it was just obvious that this person I put faith and loved unconditionally just did not care about me the same. She has pretty much gone on to just pretend I never existed. She was the one link to the outside world that kept me going. My friends have all abandoned me, my mother just doesn't get it. I hate my job (which is normal but the mental strain has been harder to take), I'm not getting any younger and yet it feels like FOMO in life in general. Especially now during the holidays.
My cup runneth empty