Help I don't think I fully understand platonic connection

[LonelyIsTheMuse]

Does anyone else just feel like they're never themselves fully?

Like I'm literally aware that I'm forcing my personality a lot of times just to fit in but I can't stop doing it, especially if it's around someone that I really want to talk with but it usually has the opposite effect, obviously. Because people can usually tell when you're not being genuine.

I just genuinely don't know how to stop, I've tried a lot with limited success, I want to be liked and not alone so badly that I end up just shooting myself in the foot.

I think it's probably masking but like... even when I medicate I just can't stop.

And what's more I never know how to exactly fully connect with people, like I don't know how to explain it, I have friends, I'm great at first talks and small talk and surface level things but some kind of magic has to happen to actually secure the friendship, start hanging out, fully reveal myself and do literally normal people things like asking them to hang out. I think I don't get when it's okay to start doing that or what? I just don't feel comfortable in my skin around friends for some reason.

Somehow the thing that makes me really comfortable with people is s*x. I feel just like myself after I do it with someone. Well that works with partners, but not so much friends... Help?

 

[WirelessConnections]

Like I'm literally aware that I'm forcing my personality a lot of times just to fit in but I can't stop doing it, especially if it's around someone that I really want to talk with but it usually has the opposite effect, obviously. Because people can usually tell when you're not being genuine.

I have somewhat similar struggles. I think that this is a very normal thing, see how people make jokes about "friend group A and B" on social media. Different combinations of people usually have very different dynamics I think. I don't usually get perceived as being fake/not genuine, but I do struggle with putting too much emotional weight on new friendships because I don't talk with new people very frequently. I think for you maybe that same issue is just manifesting itself in a more noticeable way?

I have friends, I'm great at first talks and small talk and surface level things but some kind of magic has to happen to actually secure the friendship, start hanging out, fully reveal myself and do literally normal people things like asking them to hang out. I think I don't get when it's okay to start doing that or what?

I act pretty similarly. I recently had a new friendship fail and I think it was partly because I didn't reach out and ask them to call or spend time, I'd always just wait for them to do it because I was scared to come off as clingy or something. The same person also commented that they felt like I was "just being a yes man" at one point which kinda made me feel weird lol. I probably was being overly agreeable because I admired the person, but I felt weird cus I wasn't being actually being dishonest about anything I said.

 

[LonelyIsTheMuse]

I have somewhat similar struggles. I think that this is a very normal thing, see how people make jokes about "friend group A and B" on social media. Different combinations of people usually have very different dynamics I think. I don't usually get perceived as being fake/not genuine, but I do struggle with putting too much emotional weight on new friendships because I don't talk with new people very frequently. I think for you maybe that same issue is just manifesting itself in a more noticeable way?

Hmmm, yeah I do have a friend group A, B, C and D, as well as individual separate friends and different things happen with all of them. One group barely calls me to hang nowadays which maybe it is because I am not part of the core group and the majority are men, I don't want to be quick to assume the worst, but they do interact with me one way or another. Nobody has outright told me I come off as fake, in serious interactions I am typically very genuine, I think I didn't explain myself very well, it's more like.... I wish I could be a fly on the wall sometimes when my mutual friends interact with one another when I'm not there so I can learn from that.
Like, maybe I don't joke around the right way or I don't show my interests well enough, I don't know, I just know I'm putting a barrier between myself and people somehow, I really don't know how exactly.
But I'm also the same, I put too much weight on new friendships and I'm sure that's scared off people in the past.
I think I really just need a best friend whom I can always hang out with and someone to whom I'm the first choice if that makes sense. But that's not something that just up and happens. I did have best friends before this but I had to cut them off because they were treating me very poorly.

I act pretty similarly. I recently had a new friendship fail and I think it was partly because I didn't reach out and ask them to call or spend time, I'd always just wait for them to do it because I was scared to come off as clingy or something. The same person also commented that they felt like I was "just being a yes man" at one point which kinda made me feel weird lol. I probably was being overly agreeable because I admired the person, but I felt weird cus I wasn't being actually being dishonest about anything I said.

The thing is I do reach out and I call
Just, I don't know, I still can't cross into those really comfortable friendships where you hang out at their place all day long and see each other every day and it never feels forced or anything and happens super spontaneously. I'm aware it's also because people are busy but I'm really just craving that kinda dynamic, it's just I really don't know how to get from point A to point B.
About the "yes man" thing, some people are just weird I guess? Or maybe they just assumed because they didn't know you that well, I'm unsure