BrokenByTheSystem
Autism
- Mar 23, 2026
- 139
I'm posting it here but I admit it has some tone of "recovery", I'm just afraid of getting blind generic optimistic answers in the other sub-forum.
I think I'm slowly accepting life has no meaning, my whole life I was thirsty for meaning, I couldn't stand the ideia that everything is pointless, there's no real objective and the only possible objectives in life are made up by ourselves.
I just watched a very good pessimistic philosophy video and it's beyond my comprehension how old philosophers like Schopenhauer could live and find the energy to write so many books while being plenty aware of the lack of meaning on life. I'd really like to understand what kind of strength drove them to do what they did.
I'd like to live a life like that, but it feels like my programming doesn't allow it, I need meaning, I'm thirsty for meaning, I don't want to live if meaning doesn't exist, that's basically what's slowly driving me to suicide.
There's no point on making up a meaning, why would I just build my own illusion just for the sake of keeping myself on this tortured existence? No I can't, I always stood for the truth, I won't make part of this madness.
I think I'm slowly accepting life has no meaning, my whole life I was thirsty for meaning, I couldn't stand the ideia that everything is pointless, there's no real objective and the only possible objectives in life are made up by ourselves.
I just watched a very good pessimistic philosophy video and it's beyond my comprehension how old philosophers like Schopenhauer could live and find the energy to write so many books while being plenty aware of the lack of meaning on life. I'd really like to understand what kind of strength drove them to do what they did.
I'd like to live a life like that, but it feels like my programming doesn't allow it, I need meaning, I'm thirsty for meaning, I don't want to live if meaning doesn't exist, that's basically what's slowly driving me to suicide.
There's no point on making up a meaning, why would I just build my own illusion just for the sake of keeping myself on this tortured existence? No I can't, I always stood for the truth, I won't make part of this madness.