Hello everyone!
First off--I've been a lurker here for a while now, and just want to say what an amazing community this is. I find so many of the posts here very relatable, and it means a lot to see that I'm not alone in the ways I feel. The open, non-judgmental support this community offers is incredible and so very needed in the world today.
So, I decided it was time to finally join in for real here...a little about myself: I'm 30, and suffer from severe borderline personality disorder (as long as I can remember...even going back to childhood) which has made pretty much every facet my of life a living hell.
I've thought about ctb a lot over the past few years, and am at peace with the fact that it's likely the only way out of the torture of this awful disorder. My desire to ctb is not an impulsive thing; it's something I've come to after long, hard consideration. What makes me hold off, at least for now, is that I care for two elder relatives who are unable to live independently, and I just can't bring myself to abandon them. My suffering is not their doing--it's nature's fault my brain is fucked, not any person's--and they have no one else to turn to for care.
Anyhow...that's my story! Looking forward to being a part of this wonderful community, sharing my experiences and hopefully offering some help and support to others.
First off--I've been a lurker here for a while now, and just want to say what an amazing community this is. I find so many of the posts here very relatable, and it means a lot to see that I'm not alone in the ways I feel. The open, non-judgmental support this community offers is incredible and so very needed in the world today.
So, I decided it was time to finally join in for real here...a little about myself: I'm 30, and suffer from severe borderline personality disorder (as long as I can remember...even going back to childhood) which has made pretty much every facet my of life a living hell.
I've thought about ctb a lot over the past few years, and am at peace with the fact that it's likely the only way out of the torture of this awful disorder. My desire to ctb is not an impulsive thing; it's something I've come to after long, hard consideration. What makes me hold off, at least for now, is that I care for two elder relatives who are unable to live independently, and I just can't bring myself to abandon them. My suffering is not their doing--it's nature's fault my brain is fucked, not any person's--and they have no one else to turn to for care.
Anyhow...that's my story! Looking forward to being a part of this wonderful community, sharing my experiences and hopefully offering some help and support to others.
