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Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,919
Outside this forum I am the most happy, sane and normal woman ever nobody would even believe I am frequently suicidal and want to die before 30 years old.

My grandmother rescently said she is proud of me and how I turned out she said " youre not pregnant, youre not in jail or in rehab . You are very mature and always helping around the house "
I pretend and lie everyday that I am happy and looking forward to my birthday and the future.
I help around the house, be a wonderful and caring sister and just smile and be joyful all the time.
Everyone believes it and nobody questions it . My family said rescently " lockdown is good look at the change in you"
I purge after dinner and drink a laxative tea which frequently makes me go to the toliet. Losing weight makes me so happy .

People say there signs of someone suicidal but actually I have none of the red flag signs.
The whole world believes i am normal. When i talked nobody cared to listen so i chose to live a lie ever since.
I am never going to get a job or meet the man who loves me for me and above find my real purpose in life. This is the end for me. I have ruined my own life i failed to create the perfect life i wanted.
 
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