Discussion Do you think you'll ever CTB?

[dogemn]

Do any of you feel like CTB is one of those things you'll probably think about for the rest of your life but never actually go through with? I've been having these thoughts since I was a child and even when life feels completely unbearable it still seems like something I'll just keep thinking about in the background without ever acting on it. It's almost like a constant companion that never quite becomes real.

 

[sickgirlzis]

i probably won't... i have a strong fear of death and the possible pain associated with it, so instead i obsessively think about it but have never tried anything seriously and i dont really plan to...

 

[tooafraidtodiez]

After lots of consideration, i'll probably do it. Don't know if i'll succeed though

 

[Lamentice]

I'm certain about it. Whether it happens in this decade I'm not certain about.

I'm not gonna try to outrun dementia, I'm gonna have to ctb before that point, runs in my family and I personally already have a lot of risk factors.

Gonna be living my life alone, eventually I'm just gonna be too old or sick or both.

If it's not soon I am still certain that at some point in my life it's just gonna need to be done.

I've never imagined myself dying of natural causes, even as a little child like 7, 8, 9, I was pretty sure my adulthood would be lonely, isolated, and I'd die young and/or take my own life.

 

[lilyistootired]

I just hate existing but I'm too curious most of the time to actually do it, I've gotten pretty close once with terrible academics in a semester where I considered jumping (my university's tallest building was only 6 floors anyway so not great). I really wish someone would do it to me though so I don't have to go through this hell. I wonder more if I'll ever accept no one is coming to save me or if it's something some part of me will always wait for.

 

[itsgone2]

I will do it. It's been so difficult and I should have done it by now.
I would have been good to do any time in the past month. Now things are more difficult.

 

[hurts2b]

I hope to god I manage eventually. I can't actually guarantee it. But. I really do hope so.

 

[L'appel Du Vide]

My circumstances seem like they are eventually going to lead to my death whether I want to or not. If I don't basic survival might also become harder and harsher than dying would be. There would be almost no good activity or purpose I would be physically capable of doing. Unless something miraculous happened to make changes that I wouldn't be able to do myself. Death only has to happen once, living has to be sustained. Some suicides happen as a choice between doing the hardest thing of your life once or doing it over and over again.

 

[peacebenow]

as soon as I manage to get my debilitated body able to literally physically be able to do it and I am absolutely certain I won't be found too soon, yes.

 

[sweetdecadance77]

if i have a bad enough day, i think so. ive made many dates and never went through with it because, as silly as it sounds, it didnt feel right to die right then and there. ive only ever done real damage when i acted impulsively after some bullshit happened.

 

[FuneralCry]

It is all I wish for, all I want is true permanent peace from this existence so torturous, cruel and dreadful that just causes all this cruelty and suffering all for the sake of it that I just always saw as the most terrible mistake.

For me non-existence is the positive solution to find true peace from this existence that never should had been imposed and I just always suffer so much as a result of this torturous existence, I just see so much terrible extreme cruelty in how the option to never suffer again is made inaccessible by humans who want others to suffer in this horrific, dreadful world for as long as possible.

All that anti-suicide ever does is just cause way more torture and suffering in this existence where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel, all I want is to erase this dreadful, painful existence, I find it so horrible how a human can suffer for so long just to face the terrible extreme agony of old age.

 

[dogemn]

if i have a bad enough day, i think so. ive made many dates and never went through with it because, as silly as it sounds, it didnt feel right to die right then and there. ive only ever done real damage when i acted impulsively after some bullshit happened.

I've had so many horrible days so many times that I'm surprised I'm still alive, even though I could've already taken SN by now.

 

[Exhausted546]

Do any of you feel like CTB is one of those things you'll probably think about for the rest of your life but never actually go through with? I've been having these thoughts since I was a child and even when life feels completely unbearable it still seems like something I'll just keep thinking about in the background without ever acting on it. It's almost like a constant companion that never quite becomes real.

I don't see how my life can end any differently

 

[Forever27]

I have a DDay counter for the date. Chances are slim to none I will change my mind

 

[Spite]

Most likely yes, and that likelihood is increasing more and more each day.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I dread that may happen but then, I also know I simply can't let it. I can't stand the thought of decades more of this.

 

[oakash]

I am 80% likely to die by suicide in the next 5 years. As in that is my own risk assessment.

 

[suemeforcidal]

i think so, if i have the opportunity, just because it seems like it would be a simple way to die where the biggest obstacle is just my own anxiety

 

[pedro3211]

Do any of you feel like CTB is one of those things you'll probably think about for the rest of your life but never actually go through with? I've been having these thoughts since I was a child and even when life feels completely unbearable it still seems like something I'll just keep thinking about in the background without ever acting on it. It's almost like a constant companion that never quite becomes real.

I think I have no choice but to CTB. I hate myself so much, and the economy in my country is fucked. I think there's no other viable choice but to CTB

 

[notsosillybilly]

i want to, i just have to stop being afraid

 

[CatsMeow]

I think I will. Impulsively if not intentionally. If not by suicide then probably through accidental alcohol poisoning

 

[nosense-user]

Yes, and probably today.

 

[ScaredCutter]

probably not, my survival instincts are strong and i hate pain. even if i try going through with it, i start thinking about the future and what id miss out on and suddenly, i want to do everything i keep pushing back on lol

 

[grungy自殺]

I would do so soon and certainly. It'll just be somewhere far away from home. Though it's not gonna be a guaranteed that I'm gonna die from it, I would hope so that i would be dead from it if I left a link to dead man's switch which contains my suicide notes through a hyperlink on my bio in social media. It would be preferable for me to just be dead already rather than facing the embarrassment of leaving such notes behind to people that would potentially witness my death or be heard by it

 

[LRkin]

I think I'll do that eventually. Mostly because it's the only thing I can actually control. And the very thought of being in charge of my own death (which is silly, but still...) is rather soothing. Though, I have no idea how and when it's going to happen. I just know it will happen.

 

[DoomedDarkCircles]

Yes, soon.