Venting Dilemma

[helplesship]

for someone who's already become a burden to the state, society, and family like me... is cbt the only path that's appropriate? like, literally... i can't do anything and i can't achieve anything, whether it's material stuff or whatever. i don't have connections, friends, and my family are only my live support to fill my stomach and so on. besides that i just exist as a living creature, not a social one. it feels weird. i'm really in an identity crisis phase, even questions as simple as "what's your dream?" or "what's your hobby?" i have trouble answering. living like this sucks; you could say i'm moving into late adolescence. but before i get any older like this, back to the first thing again: is cbt the only way? i've tried this and that but everything failed, it's really because i'm stupid and unclear. this has long-term effects, i can't think of anything anymore except cbt because maybe that's what i can do so people won't feel burdened or uncomfortable with me anymore. we're social beings, so of course it ties back to other people; whether someone says don't care about anything or anyone, whatever, bullshit. everything goes back to other people, not yourself

a little hopecore, i guess, maybe i used to have potential or whatever. but the covid era changed everything, damn. i can't do anything anymore because i'm so stupid; maybe i'll try again, try to change, but when? there's not much time left. i'm getting closer to the time i'll ctb and i've been considering ctb since the past few years more than i've had any real intention to change. this might sound dumb, exactly like its author. but what else can i do, i can't meet people's expectations anymore, it's all pointless, i don't know what's wrong except that i myself was born into this world. even my birth was an accident. from that one thing alone i no longer have motivation to live, if i was born by accident, why should i keep living? better to just die already, especially since i'm such a burden, i'd only make them regret it. i should've died long ago, there have been many incidents that could've taken my life; some accidents already happened but i still didn't die. damn

well, that's it, i made this post just to ask... is cbt the only way? am i this hopeless? am i this stupid? am i this troubled?​

 

[KlixxFoxe]

I think CTB is a good way to end your suffering if you have nothing to lose. Otherwise it would be probably better to keep fighting, do your best and stay optimistic. Both of this ways are hard and you'll still have to decide which one to choose