Ctb by train- selfish?

[RedFruit]

So suicide is selfish in general, sure. What about suicide by train? I take the train a decent amount (Amtrak) and I don't know if any other trains in my area. There's a lot of railroads but I've never seen trains go on them nor do I know a schedule. So I say all of this to say, is it too selfish to jump infront of the train? There will most definitely be at least 20 people around and many more inside the train. I really don't want to traumatize people. It seems like almost any method I pick I will die around others. I'd really like to OD in a hotel room but I have no idea how. I feel like I'm lacking options somehow.

 

[Aflame5926]

its always traumatising. only think i would say jumping and in front of the train is imo is the crown in methods for traumatizing people.
because there is always other people around unfortunely.

have you checked out the forum tho?

 

[mjolnir]

This adds to the equation someone who didn't ask to be involved in this situation. The train driver didn't leave home with the intention of running over anyone.

 

[RedFruit]

its always traumatising. only think i would say jumping and in front of the train is imo is the crown in methods for traumatizing people.
because there is always other people around unfortunely.

have you checked out the forum tho?

Have I checked out the forum? Like, of methods?

 

[Aflame5926]

Have I checked out the forum? Like, of methods?

yes

 

[Johnporkyy1000]

I wouldn't say selfish but I would say that people and the train driver would definitely be traumatised and would have the image of you jumping stay w them for life

 

[hybridize]

As you say it's always selfish in some way. I was in a psyche ward some time ago with a train driver who experienced that. It ruined him, I think he may have even ended his life after he left because of the trauma it caused.

Someone will always be traumatized by death but for me a train is a no go. That's a step too far even for the deeply desperate suicidal Imo.

 

[RedFruit]

yes

I always seem to lose it and can't find it. How do you get to it?

 

[Aflame5926]

I always seem to lose it and can't find it. How do you get to it?

bro it stickied above in the forum. how can you miss this xD

 

[Forever Sleep]

To an extent, I think our societies- that deny our access to reliable, relatively peaceful methods have blood on their hands. You can't corner a desperate creature and not expect it to do something rash to escape.

That said- we do likely mostly have the capacity to contemplate our actions. I would hope that I would consider almost any other method asides from either train or death by cop (shooting) seeing as it creates a unwilling accomplice- that will very likely suffer as a result. Plus- there's not much control over who else will witness it too and- how it will affect them.

I've seen the argument sometimes that- this world is shit. People are shit and uncaring so- why do they deserve our consideration? By taking the same attitude but to the extreme though- we would just be adding to that.

Plus, I suppose it does lend into this idea that suicide is utterly selfish. Maybe in a small way- by trying to reduce the impact of a suicide- via our method, location, preparation- we can also prove that a suicide can be meticulously planned to create the least impact possible. How then- people would still describe it selfish, impulsive and thoughtless wouldn't make so much sense.

The other thing I've occassionally seen is people contemplating their suicide as an act of revenge on an uncaring society. Again though- how can they be sure the individuals who witness it are those types of people?

I suppose I'd prefer not to leave a disturbing mess for first responders to face too. So- that also tends to inform what methods I'm (hopefully) less willing to do.

 

[RedFruit]

bro it stickied above in the forum. how can you miss this xD

Bro I LITERALLY can't see it. I missed it because I'm a retard. Thanks for the help.

To an extent, I think our societies- that deny our access to reliable, relatively peaceful methods have blood on their hands. You can't corner a desperate creature and not expect it to do something rash to escape.

That said- we do likely mostly have the capacity to contemplate our actions. I would hope that I would consider almost any other method asides from either train or death by cop (shooting) seeing as it creates a unwilling accomplice- that will very likely suffer as a result. Plus- there's not much control over who else will witness it too and- how it will affect them.

I've seen the argument sometimes that- this world is shit. People are shit and uncaring so- why do they deserve our consideration? By taking the same attitude but to the extreme though- we would just be adding to that.

Plus, I suppose it does lend into this idea that suicide is utterly selfish. Maybe in a small way- by trying to reduce the impact of a suicide- via our method, location, preparation- we can also prove that a suicide can be meticulously planned to create the least impact possible. How then- people would still describe it selfish, impulsive and thoughtless wouldn't make so much sense.

The other thing I've occassionally seen is people contemplating their suicide as an act of revenge on an uncaring society. Again though- how can they be sure the individuals who witness it are those types of people?

I suppose I'd prefer not to leave a disturbing mess for first responders to face too. So- that also tends to inform what methods I'm (hopefully) less willing to do.

Eh. It's still selfish even if no one sees it. Only way it's not selfish is if you make it so theres no one who can grieve for you. I have a lot of friends and family who would miss me regardless.

 

[Captive_Mind515]

I've slightly changed my view on this over time. Yes, I do think it's somewhat selfish.

But then, so is preventing suffering people from having access to peaceful methods.

Really, a lot depends on how desperate a person is and whether they have any other viable methods. Which is a highly subjective thing as well, because some methods are harder to face for some people. (Like you may be able to use a train, but mentally incapable of jumping because one is much more terrifying etc)

On a selfishness scale, there are much worse acts than using a train. There are methods that could actually endanger other people's lives directly - like jumping off a bridge onto a busy highway or something…

It's not my endorsement of using trains. But I can understand why some people choose it, better than I did in the past.

 

[insectontrial]

I hate the rhetoric around suicide being a "selfish" thing to do, but I couldn't CTB in this way. I wouldn't want to traumatise a train driver, or any passengers or railway workers.

I guess one silver lining of me being autistic is that I'm very much your stereotypical "special interest in trains" autistic person and so I have a lot of respect and admiration for people who work in the field.

 

[RedFruit]

I hate the rhetoric around suicide being a "selfish" thing to do, but I couldn't CTB in this way. I wouldn't want to traumatise a train driver, or any passengers or railway workers.

I guess one silver lining of me being autistic is that I'm very much your stereotypical "special interest in trains" autistic person and so I have a lot of respect and admiration for people who work in the field.

I do enjoy trains myself and don't really want to hurt anyone else in my process. I just also don't know a sure way to ctb without being caught or a chance of me surviving.

 

[cheesedout]

It's a really gory thing to do in front of a crowd, not to mention the poor driver, but realistically every method is gonna traumatize someone -- someone's gotta find the body, after all. I wouldn't be in favor of you doing it at all, but if you're really desperate and have no other options, at least try to do it on a part of track in between stations, when there isn't a crowd watching. I'm sure there's some way to find a schedule, or at least infer one.

 

[飄々と]

i really feel for the train drivers but i'm just pretty squeamish and want something that can take me out fast. i've thought about jumping off a parking deck near me too but even with that, there's a few seconds for me to think about what i've done after it's become irreversible and that just scares me too much.
am i just too weak/immature for suicide? is there some way to build some mental strength or just get over that fear? for example i simply couldn't imagine hanging myself, suffocation is terrifying.

 

[bakenohana]

i think its a very brutal method, i don't recommend it but if you truly do not have any other options and thats your only one, I'm not judging. It most definitely would traumatize the driver and anyone waiting for the train, but when i really think about it in that regard, wouldn't any suicide method traumatize basically anyone, aslong as they find the body? the scale of witnesses in train suicides is much bigger, but atleast one person could be traumatized from any suicide method at all, because its still a dead body. Unless someones body after suicide disappears into thin air or they intentionally ctb in a way where their body is hard to find, someone is most likely going to find it. that's why while I don't exactly advocate for train suicide, im not against it either. its pretty hard not to traumatize someone if u die

 

[memento_mori]

In some places like Japan, they have people jumping in front of trains all the time. But yeah, I would not recommend that as it's going to traumatise a lot of people.
I did jump out in front of traffic once (really bad mental state at that time, wasn't in a state to care about how others feel) but a driver managed to stop somehow and yell/ swore at me……

 

[FuneralCry]

No, what is selfish and such terrible extreme cruelty is making guaranteed, painless ways to cease existing inaccessible, it's just so horrific how this existence gets imposed in the first place causing all this torture and suffering as a result, there's nothing selfish about the personal choice to find peace from the imposition of existence no matter what.

It's disgusting how pro-lifers call people selfish for having no choice but to use such brutal ways to cease existing when there isn't the option to just painlessly cease existing with no more pain and no more suffering, denying the option of methods like Nembutal is such a terrible crime to me, all that anti-suicide does is cause way more suffering.

 

[ChiariBear]

So the way I see it is any method of CTB has some element of potential/guaranteed trauma to either witnesses or whoever finds our body. Personally I am leaning towards Amtrak being my vehicle of departure because oddly enough they have taken me to so many places and events good in my life(I'm somewhere in the mid-atlantic/northeast where Amtrak is very common and very frequent) but they also brought bad and loss into my life after I was injured on their property but lost the lawsuit due to ineffective representation giving them a chance to destroy evidence.

 

[Rihan]

If you really don't want to traumatize anyone, then this is not the way to go.

 

[squiddedoutt]

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[lilli_188]

So suicide is selfish in general, sure. What about suicide by train? I take the train a decent amount (Amtrak) and I don't know if any other trains in my area. There's a lot of railroads but I've never seen trains go on them nor do I know a schedule. So I say all of this to say, is it too selfish to jump infront of the train? There will most definitely be at least 20 people around and many more inside the train. I really don't want to traumatize people. It seems like almost any method I pick I will die around others. I'd really like to OD in a hotel room but I have no idea how. I feel like I'm lacking options somehow.

I wouldn't recommend going out by train, regardless if it's "selfish" or "traumatizing" to others. Similar to jumping or other forms of physical self harm, if it goes wrong or you are not positioned in the perfect orientation, it's likely you will survive with life-altering injuries/disfigurement. I am not 100% sure of her name, but there was a woman on X who attempted via train and survived, though had one of her arms completely amputated. Of course, there is no perfect method that is easily accessible to all, as if there was then this forum would be far from active. However, there seems to be more efficient or at least less painful ways to go than something like this. On top of that, it deeply affects the train operator and others involved, though that's been said countless times above so I'm sure you understand that part.

 

[name2come]

Anyone who is going to commit is generally going to be very desperate and I'm going to be inclined to offer them more empathy than judgment, but that said I take a dim view of methods that involve making someone else end your life and an even more dim view of methods which endanger others. Train does both.

I know it seems really accessible and available, but you have to decide if this is something you want for yourself or something you want to do to other people. Either by forcing them to witness it, forcing them to be a killer, or potentially hurting people in an ensuing accident. Hope you can find your peace.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

I do enjoy trains myself and don't really want to hurt anyone else in my process. I just also don't know a sure way to ctb without being caught or a chance of me surviving.

The hard part is over, you've found this site with info on every viable method!

If you haven't seen anyone die via train, that might be something to consider watching on the watch people die site. It doesn't always go as smoothly as one might imagine. Regrettably, I accidentally watched one where the man's torso ended up being launched onto the platform knocking over a couple of unsuspecting people. I'm sure none of their lives were ever the same. Better to go with something that won't endanger anyone else and that will traumatize as few people as possible.