Can you give me some advice on what to do in my situation?
I understand that the situation is complicated and deadlocked, most likely I will not get an answer, but I will try, at least
I'll talk it out. Sorry for English, it's not my language. I'm really sorry for the English, I use a translator.
Life has been very unfair. I didn't study well and didn't read, but at the age of 14, I found out on the Internet about a billionaire inventor who moves humanity forward, I was blown away by his coolness, and I was able to force myself to read, I was going to become his successor, the coolest person of the 21st century. I read art books, at the age of 17 I realized that they had stopped developing me, and I found several unique ways to acquire photographic memory, I learned speed reading, and in another way I gained photographic memory, my goal was to read and develop. But after I summed up that I got a photographic memory, a month after I started working on it, I was under a lot of stress, I lost my memory and couldn't even remember a single line.
It's been like this for 2.5 years, now my memory is a little better, I can understand the thread of the dialogue, but I can't remember anything, even if I learn a page of text, I still have memory lapses. Before, there were enlightenments and my memory returned if I could relax, but now it doesn't. I tried nootropics, a cure for OCD (I have OCD), but specifically with memory with a psychiatrist
didn't work. I lived with the feeling that
I was a great genius at the beginning of my life, but after 2 years of constant stress, which my psyche could not withstand, I gradually wore off.,
and now, even if my memory comes back, I no longer need it because, in my younger years, the potential decreases every year, I cannot return to it again after 2.5 years of procrastination. I can't explain this feeling, but I can say for sure that I don't need life, it's been 8 months.
I dream of shooting myself.
I was expelled from college, I can hardly physically be with people, I always wear black glasses, and I'm physically weak.
It turns out that I can't physically work.
I can, but mentally, too, because of memory loss, I can't be with people without panicking. The strength to do anything
No. And the reason for all this
She's very funny and ridiculous, and I don't like her.
I haven't told you yet, and I don't want to yet.
The ultimate goal is to shoot yourself, the most reliable method. But I don't work and I won't be able to get it because I don't have the money to rent an apartment (I need a safe), and there are firearms in my country.
they are prohibited, but it is possible to buy a shotgun / shotgun, and then only from the age of 21, in a year. Now I've structured it and thought maybe this is my solution. It's the only job I can handle, because I don't have to interact with people.,
street sweeper.
I think maybe I can get a job as a janitor for half a day? But 21 is still a year away, don't rush it, I've made so many mistakes, and I don't want to lose another year, so maybe I'll go to college to pay for a part-time job, and when 21 comes, there may be vacations in the summer, get a job as a janitor for half a day, or even just save money and tell the landlord that I'm working. Unofficially, when I get a gun license, I'll rent an apartment.,
install a safe, buy a gun and finally shoot yourself? Measured if the length of the barrel is 72 cm, then I can even shoot at the temple.
But I do not know if I can bear another year of torment. I was seriously planning a self-immolation, but I was persuaded on the forum. Despite my intelligence, it has always turned out that what a lot of people write on the Internet is true, so I try to listen. More options under consideration:
Lying under a train to have my head cut off. This option was discussed today, but it has subsided. There is no satisfactory answer.
Or jump from a parachute and unhook the parachute.
It seems as if both methods give instant death, but there are a lot of risks. Could you please evaluate my plan for getting a gun, and perhaps tell me how best to execute death using these two methods?
I just discovered the gun option when I wrote here.
I understand that the situation is complicated and deadlocked, most likely I will not get an answer, but I will try, at least
I'll talk it out. Sorry for English, it's not my language. I'm really sorry for the English, I use a translator.
Life has been very unfair. I didn't study well and didn't read, but at the age of 14, I found out on the Internet about a billionaire inventor who moves humanity forward, I was blown away by his coolness, and I was able to force myself to read, I was going to become his successor, the coolest person of the 21st century. I read art books, at the age of 17 I realized that they had stopped developing me, and I found several unique ways to acquire photographic memory, I learned speed reading, and in another way I gained photographic memory, my goal was to read and develop. But after I summed up that I got a photographic memory, a month after I started working on it, I was under a lot of stress, I lost my memory and couldn't even remember a single line.
It's been like this for 2.5 years, now my memory is a little better, I can understand the thread of the dialogue, but I can't remember anything, even if I learn a page of text, I still have memory lapses. Before, there were enlightenments and my memory returned if I could relax, but now it doesn't. I tried nootropics, a cure for OCD (I have OCD), but specifically with memory with a psychiatrist
didn't work. I lived with the feeling that
I was a great genius at the beginning of my life, but after 2 years of constant stress, which my psyche could not withstand, I gradually wore off.,
and now, even if my memory comes back, I no longer need it because, in my younger years, the potential decreases every year, I cannot return to it again after 2.5 years of procrastination. I can't explain this feeling, but I can say for sure that I don't need life, it's been 8 months.
I dream of shooting myself.
I was expelled from college, I can hardly physically be with people, I always wear black glasses, and I'm physically weak.
It turns out that I can't physically work.
I can, but mentally, too, because of memory loss, I can't be with people without panicking. The strength to do anything
No. And the reason for all this
She's very funny and ridiculous, and I don't like her.
I haven't told you yet, and I don't want to yet.
The ultimate goal is to shoot yourself, the most reliable method. But I don't work and I won't be able to get it because I don't have the money to rent an apartment (I need a safe), and there are firearms in my country.
they are prohibited, but it is possible to buy a shotgun / shotgun, and then only from the age of 21, in a year. Now I've structured it and thought maybe this is my solution. It's the only job I can handle, because I don't have to interact with people.,
street sweeper.
I think maybe I can get a job as a janitor for half a day? But 21 is still a year away, don't rush it, I've made so many mistakes, and I don't want to lose another year, so maybe I'll go to college to pay for a part-time job, and when 21 comes, there may be vacations in the summer, get a job as a janitor for half a day, or even just save money and tell the landlord that I'm working. Unofficially, when I get a gun license, I'll rent an apartment.,
install a safe, buy a gun and finally shoot yourself? Measured if the length of the barrel is 72 cm, then I can even shoot at the temple.
But I do not know if I can bear another year of torment. I was seriously planning a self-immolation, but I was persuaded on the forum. Despite my intelligence, it has always turned out that what a lot of people write on the Internet is true, so I try to listen. More options under consideration:
Lying under a train to have my head cut off. This option was discussed today, but it has subsided. There is no satisfactory answer.
Or jump from a parachute and unhook the parachute.
It seems as if both methods give instant death, but there are a lot of risks. Could you please evaluate my plan for getting a gun, and perhaps tell me how best to execute death using these two methods?
I just discovered the gun option when I wrote here.
Last edited:
