Boiling Point

[Wisdom3_1-9]

Things are worse now than ever before.

I don't see any purpose in doing anything anymore. Probably won't make it to work tomorrow, or ever again. Relationship with husband is irreparably damaged. Don't even want to eat anything.

I'm envisioning my death constantly now. So far, I've seen myself slicing my neck open or stabbing myself in the stomach. I've driven my car into a lake. I've jumped off a bridge. I've stepped in front of a speeding semi. Right now, it feels like the more violent, the better.

Don't be surprised if I stop posting all of a sudden. I can't see myself lasting much longer. And while I wished everything was planned and I could make my goodbyes perfect, I just feel like I should take the chance whenever it comes. Besides, the goodbyes don't seem all that important anymore either.

I joined way too late. I wish I had more time with you all.

 

[blah2323]

You seem acutely distressed. May I ask what's bothering you in this moment?

I understand and empathize with your desire to imminently CTB, but think such things require solid planning and have the potential to go poorly when acted on spontaneously.

Please vent to us a little longer, if you can :).

 

[esse_est_percipi]

So far, I've seen myself slicing my neck open or stabbing myself in the stomach. I've driven my car into a lake. I've jumped off a bridge. I've stepped in front of a speeding semi.

I understand that this kind of suicidal ideation might be a coping mechanism to your current situation.
If you spontaneously act on these thoughts, there is a risk things could go wrong. I know you probably know this, and that you are desperate right now, but there are other options and things may get better for you over time. You don't lose anything from just waiting a little bit and riding out the suicidal fantasies.

 

[Living_Hurts_so_Much]

Things are worse now than ever before.

I don't see any purpose in doing anything anymore. Probably won't make it to work tomorrow, or ever again. Relationship with husband is irreparably damaged. Don't even want to eat anything.

I'm envisioning my death constantly now. So far, I've seen myself slicing my neck open or stabbing myself in the stomach. I've driven my car into a lake. I've jumped off a bridge. I've stepped in front of a speeding semi. Right now, it feels like the more violent, the better.

Don't be surprised if I stop posting all of a sudden. I can't see myself lasting much longer. And while I wished everything was planned and I could make my goodbyes perfect, I just feel like I should take the chance whenever it comes. Besides, the goodbyes don't seem all that important anymore either.

I joined way too late. I wish I had more time with you all.

If you choose to stay, we are here to talk and listen. If you find your way to ctb, may you find peace.

 

[BetterInthanOut]

Your decision is your own, but all of the methods you've listed seem spontaneous and there's a lot that could go wrong. Please take some time to think things through and be sure, we are here to support you whatever you decide

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I understand that this kind of suicidal ideation might be a coping mechanism to your current situation.
If you spontaneously act on these thoughts, there is a risk things could go wrong. I know you probably know this, and that you are desperate right now, but there are other options and things may get better for you over time. You don't lose anything from just waiting a little bit and riding out the suicidal fantasies.

I have calmed down a bit. I'm still in bed, but I'm hungry and want to eat. I don't want to do any of those things right now. My SN arrives to my workplace sometime this week, but I don't know if I'll have the strength to go to work.