Venting Been actively suicidal for over a year

[thetruetato]

At this point, I don't know what to do. I've been actively suicidal for more than a year now, and it's pathetic how I still haven't managed to kill myself. I'm so mentally fucked up that I honestly don't imagine any future for myself whatsoever, and if I had better luck I would already be dead. The people around me irl think I'm getting better but I've just been doing a better job of hiding it. I feel so close to succeeding yet so far simultaneously.

 

[LastNite]

Been there, it sucks. My advice is to find something new to do if you're doing nothing. Even if you're eventually going to kill yourself. It'll just feel better than being empty and lonely stuck in one place until your time comes.