anyone wanna talk

[couldntcareless]

doesn't have to be anything serious, ik a lot of y'all are lonely too, so why not keep each other company?

 

[ctb_warrior]

doesn't have to be anything serious, ik a lot of y'all are lonely too, so why not keep each other company?

Excellent idea.. That's how i have been surviving.. i feel so much better after being active here

 

[QuarantinedThoughts]

Im down to talk if you want! At work currently though, so i may be delayed in response time.

 

[couldntcareless]

bro do u ever leave ts site seems like u online 24/7

Excellent idea.. That's how i have been surviving.. i feel so much better after being active here

Im down to talk if you want! At work currently though, so i may be delayed in response time.

sure, does this site have pms? im new here

 

[ctb_warrior]

bro do u ever leave ts site seems like u online 24/7


sure, does this site have pms? im new here

Hahah I'm not online 247 i sleep proper 8 hours a day. And i come for 10 -10 minutes every hour or two, so it feels like I'm online 247.
Besides, you can see how desperate I'm to find a method that i can use to ctb

 

[QuarantinedThoughts]

bro do u ever leave ts site seems like u online 24/7


sure, does this site have pms? im new here

Not sure about PMs either. Im new myself (registered 2 days ago lol)

 

[couldntcareless]

sure, does this site have pms? im new here

Not sure about PMs either. Im new myself (registered 2 days ago lol)

alr i followed u maybe now it'll open if we become moots

Hahah I'm not online 247 i sleep proper 8 hours a day. And i come for 10 -10 minutes every hour or two, so it feels like I'm online 247.
Besides, you can see how desperate I'm to find a method that i can use to ctb

i'm sorry ur feeling ts way and i hope u find peace u crave

Not sure about PMs either. Im new myself (registered 2 days ago lol)

thats what i found "The permissions to create a thread, send and receive PMs, and to use the chatroom will be granted automatically after you post a certain secret number of times and are active for at least 24 hours. This is to avoid spam and abuse of accounts. Please see Rules & Info for further information."

 

[ctb_warrior]

alr i followed u maybe now it'll open if we become moots

i'm sorry ur feeling ts way and i hope u find peace u crave

thats what i found "The permissions to create a thread, send and receive PMs, and to use the chatroom will be granted automatically after you post a certain secret number of times and are active for at least 24 hours. This is to avoid spam and abuse of accounts. Please see Rules & Info for further information."

Thank you bro..wish the same for you

 

[QuarantinedThoughts]

alr i followed u maybe now it'll open if we become moots

i'm sorry ur feeling ts way and i hope u find peace u crave

thats what i found "The permissions to create a thread, send and receive PMs, and to use the chatroom will be granted automatically after you post a certain secret number of times and are active for at least 24 hours. This is to avoid spam and abuse of accounts. Please see Rules & Info for further information."

Makes sense! Guess I'll need to post a little more lol. Thanks for the info!!

 

[whatsleftover]

Im down to talk if you want! At work currently though, so i may be delayed in response time.

any advice on handling the monotonous and life-draining nature of work?

 

[QuarantinedThoughts]

any advice on handling the monotonous and life-draining nature of work?

Finding something you thoroughly enjoy helps. For me, im a merchandiser for Coca-Cola. I "like" the work, its fast paced and challenging. But let's be honest, no one likes working lmfao. Why would anyone spend 8+ hours in a place they dont want to be? Lol...keeping your mind busy is key for me

 

[whatsleftover]

Finding something you thoroughly enjoy helps. For me, im a merchandiser for Coca-Cola. I "like" the work, its fast paced and challenging. But let's be honest, no one likes working lmfao. Why would anyone spend 8+ hours in a place they dont want to be? Lol...keeping your mind busy is key for me

feeling any positive sensation towards work is a win, lucky dog! i hate it here, i hate getting up so early and wasting so much of the day, it spoils everything else.

coca-cola merchandiser, is it as cool as it sounds?

 

[jakejack8000]

Hahah I'm not online 247 i sleep proper 8 hours a day. And i come for 10 -10 minutes every hour or two, so it feels like I'm online 247.
Besides, you can see how desperate I'm to find a method that i can use to ctb

and did you find a reliable method?

 

[ctb_warrior]

and did you find a reliable method?

Excellent question.
My constraint is I'm living with family and they know that I'm suicidal so they keep checking me from time to time. And i had brought in a rope to try at night while they are asleep, they confiscated it. So, i need something that's fast, and reliable and full proof that require minimal setup and no suspicious object/chemical that can get confiscated and foil my plan.
I was thinking of SWB after someone said that it's possible to do it in a bucket. I did my research on it and found that it'll take 4 minutes of breathlessness before unconscious occurs. I had to rule this out.
Drowning with lots of alcohol to control SI is a method on my mind but i don't have a water body near me to go and plan. I tried to go for swimming classes but i was not allowed to.
Carbon monoxide was my preferred peaceful method. But as I'm back at home, i cannot use this method.
After reading an article today that talked about SN being used for murder. It mentioned that the criminal used very small amount of it to CTB himself. And it's obvious that in jail, he couldn't have had anti emetics and benzos. That's making me think if i can get pure high quality SN somehow, i may be able to achieve my goal.

 

[QuarantinedThoughts]

feeling any positive sensation towards work is a win, lucky dog! i hate it here, i hate getting up so early and wasting so much of the day, it spoils everything else.

coca-cola merchandiser, is it as cool as it sounds?

It is in my opinion! But it requires late days, a lot of lifting, and a lot of driving. I also have to get up super early to make sure I make it to my first account on time. I get paid quite a bit though! Just shy of $30/hr. Still would rather be doing other things though!

 

[whatsleftover]

It is in my opinion! But it requires late days, a lot of lifting, and a lot of driving. I also have to get up super early to make sure I make it to my first account on time. I get paid quite a bit though! Just shy of $30/hr. Still would rather be doing other things though!

jobs cozy, what brings you here then?

 

[QuarantinedThoughts]

jobs cozy, what brings you here then?

Honestly? A fear of aging, illness and disease. I plan on ending things my own way a little closer to age 50 (im 32 now). I'd rather die my own way rather than waiting for age or any illness to take me, if that makes sense!

 

[couldntcareless]

Honestly? A fear of aging, illness and disease. I plan on ending things my own way a little closer to age 50 (im 32 now). I'd rather die my own way rather than waiting for age or any illness to take me, if that makes sense!

damn bro...

 

[jakejack8000]

Excellent question.
My constraint is I'm living with family and they know that I'm suicidal so they keep checking me from time to time. And i had brought in a rope to try at night while they are asleep, they confiscated it. So, i need something that's fast, and reliable and full proof that require minimal setup and no suspicious object/chemical that can get confiscated and foil my plan.
I was thinking of SWB after someone said that it's possible to do it in a bucket. I did my research on it and found that it'll take 4 minutes of breathlessness before unconscious occurs. I had to rule this out.
Drowning with lots of alcohol to control SI is a method on my mind but i don't have a water body near me to go and plan. I tried to go for swimming classes but i was not allowed to.
Carbon monoxide was my preferred peaceful method. But as I'm back at home, i cannot use this method.
After reading an article today that talked about SN being used for murder. It mentioned that the criminal used very small amount of it to CTB himself. And it's obvious that in jail, he couldn't have had anti emetics and benzos. That's making me think if i can get pure high quality SN somehow, i may be able to achieve my goal.

I tried with the noose several times and no matter what I can't get myself to faint, I have ordered SN online I have no means to test it, I'll just have to count on my luck, I don't have access to benzos either, just paracetamol and beta blockers and I hope I don't chicken out during or after drinking it, what's SWB?

 

[ctb_warrior]

I tried with the noose several times and no matter what I can't get myself to faint, I have ordered SN online I have no means to test it, I'll just have to count on my luck, I don't have access to benzos either, just paracetamol and beta blockers and I hope I don't chicken out during or after drinking it, what's SWB?

Aquarium test is known to help with testing SN. Though as per Google, it doesn't tells how pure it is. See if you can get the kit.

Try if you can arrange benzos as it'll make the journey relatively peaceful. Otherwise you have to tolerate some discomfort. I left a comment on your post. Check that out. It has some hint that the discomfort may not be a lot

SWB is shallow water blackout. It happens involuntarily also when a swimmer dives into water but water gets filled in the lungs and they get knocked out, and end up dead.

 

[jakejack8000]

Aquarium test is known to help with testing SN. Though as per Google, it doesn't tells how pure it is. See if you can get the kit.

Try if you can arrange benzos as it'll make the journey relatively peaceful. Otherwise you have to tolerate some discomfort. I left a comment on your post. Check that out. It has some hint that the discomfort may not be a lot

SWB is shallow water blackout. It happens involuntarily also when a swimmer dives into water but water gets filled in the lungs and they get knocked out, and end up dead.

Excellent question.
My constraint is I'm living with family and they know that I'm suicidal so they keep checking me from time to time. And i had brought in a rope to try at night while they are asleep, they confiscated it. So, i need something that's fast, and reliable and full proof that require minimal setup and no suspicious object/chemical that can get confiscated and foil my plan.
I was thinking of SWB after someone said that it's possible to do it in a bucket. I did my research on it and found that it'll take 4 minutes of breathlessness before unconscious occurs. I had to rule this out.
Drowning with lots of alcohol to control SI is a method on my mind but i don't have a water body near me to go and plan. I tried to go for swimming classes but i was not allowed to.
Carbon monoxide was my preferred peaceful method. But as I'm back at home, i cannot use this method.
After reading an article today that talked about SN being used for murder. It mentioned that the criminal used very small amount of it to CTB himself. And it's obvious that in jail, he couldn't have had anti emetics and benzos. That's making me think if i can get pure high quality SN somehow, i may be able to achieve my goal.

I can't imagine your pain living like this for so long, I have been suicidal in the past but was able to push through, convincing myself it will get better some day, life prefers some people over the others or some just are built differently, my life is FUBAR and I just want to end it now and no idea what to do, even the ropes don't faint me, I can't wait any longer it's just messed up

 

[ctb_warrior]

I can't imagine your pain living like this for so long, I have been suicidal in the past but was able to push through, convincing myself it will get better some day, life prefers some people over the others or some just are built differently, my life is FUBAR and I just want to end it now and no idea what to do, even the ropes don't faint me, I can't wait any longer it's just messed up

I can relate with your pain. I have given life a lot of chances but I'm done now. I choose peace over wrestling continuously with life.
I wish you peace, either in life preferably, if not, then in ctb
I want to ctb but don't even have a method. I laugh at myself. Neither can i live peacefully nor can i die peacefully. What game is the universe playing with me. And you are right, life prefers some people.
My entire generation is cursed. No one is leading a happy life even after being good at academics and getting a good job.