Anyone else scared of the future?

[passthisnote]

I am a 19 yo male and the reason I'm going to CTB is to avoid the future entirely. Honestly, aging and responsibility just sounds like it'll really suck so I'd rather just get it over with and die now than extend my life doing things that I don't even want to do. I don't have any aspirations in life and I don't want to lose my current hobbies and interests all because of these changes that'll continue as I get older. Does anyone else feel a similar way?

 

[ZeroRedz02]

I am a 19 yo male and the reason I'm going to CTB is to avoid the future entirely. Honestly, aging and responsibility just sounds like it'll really suck so I'd rather just get it over with and die now than extend my life doing things that I don't even want to do. I don't have any aspirations in life and I don't want to lose my current hobbies and interests all because of these changes that'll continue as I get older. Does anyone else feel a similar way?

All the same of you with the difference that i don't have hobbies and my only interest is in videogames and music, in the age of 23 almost turning in 24.

 

[kowkolyte]

Yes, right now I am 28 and life only gotten worse for me the older I got. Honestly, I never wanted to reach this age at all, wish I could've stayed a teenager forever. If life sucks now for you I doubt it will get better, of course exceptions exist and perhaps I have a doomer mentality.

 

[Z0002]

I'm 25 years old, the plan was to do it on my 18th birthday because I didn't see myself as an adult, I still don't see myself as an adult, I haven't entered adulthood, I just sit at home all the time and parasitize on my family

 

[dirkw83]

Yes it gets bad I'm 42 years old now and now what I'm looking at is my health getting worse, having to take care of elderly parents etc. But you get nothing in return, life really never gives you any breaks it's rare to ever be lucky.

 

[hurts2b]

Am twenty now. Only passively suicidal at this point in time so I am making some minimal effort to work and live and be a person. I guess.

But yeah. The world is demanding. And what? I'm supposed to continue this existence? Just deal forever with endless bullshit?
I can't see myself doing that.

I don't need to CTB super soon or anything. Stuff is manageable right now. But I'm just. Waiting to reach my limit.

It'll happen. Sooner or later.

 

[Corovaner]

I'm 31 and I have no future. To be more precise, my future is a life in a shit country with chronic ilness and poverty. Why am I still didn't kill myself? Fucking hope! I hate it.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, I find it so terrible and horrible how the torture of existing can continue for decades longer, all I want is to peacefully cease existing and never suffer again but of course this existence of torturous suffering never should had been imposed at all, I just never wished to exist in the first place.

I see existence as a mistake that just causes all this dreadful suffering all for the sake of it, to me existence could never be worth it and I find it so terrible how this existence was imposed in the first place, to be tortured in this existence for decades longer just to face the extreme agony of old age would be the most terrible undeserved punishment to me, for me only non-existence is positive.

 

[The Disqualified]

I am a 19 yo male and the reason I'm going to CTB is to avoid the future entirely. Honestly, aging and responsibility just sounds like it'll really suck so I'd rather just get it over with and die now than extend my life doing things that I don't even want to do. I don't have any aspirations in life and I don't want to lose my current hobbies and interests all because of these changes that'll continue as I get older. Does anyone else feel a similar way?

I don't know if I understood what you meant.

Are you afraid of aging? Or are you more afraid of your current suffering continuing indefinitely?

I wouldn't say I fear aging specifically. I just want a better life.

Are there any hobbies you like today? Some things keep me going.

 

[JoeFailure]

I am a 19 yo male and the reason I'm going to CTB is to avoid the future entirely. Honestly, aging and responsibility just sounds like it'll really suck so I'd rather just get it over with and die now than extend my life doing things that I don't even want to do. I don't have any aspirations in life and I don't want to lose my current hobbies and interests all because of these changes that'll continue as I get older. Does anyone else feel a similar way?

If you keep yourself in shape you can still feel really good in your 40's. I'm 40 and physically I feel pretty good. But I really screwed up with career stuff and don't really have one and mental health issues. Just make sure you work on a career and you'll have hope.

19 is really young, you could find work in an area you like so it doesn't feel so much like work and keep your current hobbies.

It's easy for me to say but shit I'd do anything to be 19 again knowing what I know now. You could build yourself a really nice life.

 

[nettspend]

The loss of my future is a major factor in my decision to CTB. I'm in my early twenties, and not long ago I had a somewhat promising future. I was in medical school, had my own apartment, a girlfriend, a social network and a decent amount of savings. Due to substance abuse and mental illness, I lost all of this. I've now dropped out of school, living with family and have no savings left. Worst of all, I've lost all my friends as well as my girlfriend.

I can't even think about what my life might look like at 30 or 40. It's just too dark. I'd rather die now, while people still think I have some sort of potential, rather than rot away slowly.

 

[neverexistedd]

I don't want to be a worthless wageslave until I die, I wasted every opportunity I had so I leaned toward CTB

 

[peacebenow]

You are so incredibly young. It is normal to be scared of your future. Yet the unknown brings much possibilities.

 

[BradGuy123]

This reply is only speaking of my experience and point of view. I am middle aged. I used to be afraid of aging and having responsibilities. But I am happy with my life now. This is hard to put into words but having life experience makes facing problems and crises easier. I think "I've been through something similar years ago and I got through it. I'll get through this now." I also have insight into my character defects, behavior patterns, and past mistakes. This just makes things easier. I know I'm not explaining this well. I'm way happier now than when I was 19.

 

[passthisnote]

I don't know if I understood what you meant.

Are you afraid of aging? Or are you more afraid of your current suffering continuing indefinitely?

I wouldn't say I fear aging specifically. I just want a better life.

Are there any hobbies you like today? Some things keep me going.

i am not suffering currently besides working but i don't even work 30 hours so it's not that bad rn (i get three days straight off.) but that's why this sucks. this right now is barely doable for me but the standard in society is 40 hours, which i can't even comprehend. as i age, i'll be expected to fall in line with everyone else and give up my free time and immature hobbies, so i would rather CTB than do that. also all my interests (gaming, anime, internet rap, ect.) are pretty much centered around youth so if i'm like 25 living the way i am right now, it would be impossible. i want to preserve my current self in death while simultaneously avoiding future suffering.
the thi

If you keep yourself in shape you can still feel really good in your 40's. I'm 40 and physically I feel pretty good. But I really screwed up with career stuff and don't really have one and mental health issues. Just make sure you work on a career and you'll have hope.

19 is really young, you could find work in an area you like so it doesn't feel so much like work and keep your current hobbies.

It's easy for me to say but shit I'd do anything to be 19 again knowing what I know now. You could build yourself a really nice life

If you keep yourself in shape you can still feel really good in your 40's. I'm 40 and physically I feel pretty good. But I really screwed up with career stuff and don't really have one and mental health issues. Just make sure you work on a career and you'll have hope.

19 is really young, you could find work in an area you like so it doesn't feel so much like work and keep your current hobbies.

It's easy for me to say but shit I'd do anything to be 19 again knowing what I know now. You could build yourself a really nice life.

the thought of me dying so soon brings me both comfort and extreme anxiety, but it's the most effective and straightforward solution to my problem of not wanting to age and suffer in the future.

 

[Pluto]

 

[ZeroRedz02]

I'm 25 years old, the plan was to do it on my 18th birthday because I didn't see myself as an adult, I still don't see myself as an adult, I haven't entered adulthood, I just sit at home all the time and parasitize on my family

:o me too, but i am 23 and soon 24, i don't want anymore to be the weight in the family and i don't want to parasitize them forever literally i can't tollerate this anymore, i don't want to repeat this cycle again and again forever, my body is tired and with him also my brain, i can't take anymore to do my personal take caring, and everytime i did feel wrong and bad for let my family taking care of me by give to me to eat (the only who does work is my dad, my brother doesn't) and for let me washing my clothes (generally was done by my mother but she passed away and now my brother do it) what i was doing was only cleaning the ground sometimes rare times, and i just played on my PC and i did take this sit for all my fucking life, so i don't need to be surprised if i am sedentary and suffering anemia and psychotic depression and autism and everything, i can't really this is too much, i need to get away from my SI so i can finally CTB on SN, and be finally free from this world that i never that I have never fully known i KNOW all this sounds crazy and absurd but i can't do nothing about it anymore.. my time is over.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm much older than you- at 46. And yes- I want to suicide to escape the responsibilities of both the present and the future.

There's the sense that things aren't ok right now. While I may be just about coping, I'm utterly hating it and- it stands to reason- things will only become harder as I get older.

 

[violetforever]

i know 13 years from now my life will be worse than it is right now because ive already spent the past 13 years of it (11 to 24) being suicidal but hopeful it could change when i grew up. ive grown up enough. its gotten so ugly with every passing year. it only gets even uglier from here. no more hope. i cant be convinced otherwise. im fixated on james dean right now so i wish i could die at the same age as him but i know i cant plan to ctb that quickly in my remaining days of being 24 <|3

 

[Ben 111]

I understand, I find it so terrible and horrible how the torture of existing can continue for decades longer, all I want is to peacefully cease existing and never suffer again but of course this existence of torturous suffering never should had been imposed at all, I just never wished to exist in the first place.

I see existence as a mistake that just causes all this dreadful suffering all for the sake of it, to me existence could never be worth it and I find it so terrible how this existence was imposed in the first place, to be tortured in this existence for decades longer just to face the extreme agony of old age would be the most terrible undeserved punishment to me, for me only non-existence is positive.

Seems you have been feelin this way 4 a very long time..why haven't you ctb
I totally understand, im currently 21yr and just don't see anypoint to live anymore....

 

[Bishop]

You are so incredibly young. It is normal to be scared of your future. Yet the unknown brings much possibilities.

You are so incredibly young. It is normal to be scared of your future. Yet the unknown brings much possibilities.

@peacebenow can I PM you?

 

[Arachno]

Yes, I try not to think about it too much but my prospects are not exactly great. I've been getting depressed in regards to my health and state of the world as a whole. It bothers me that there isn't much I can do about most of the things. I really don't like it here :(

 

[peacebenow]

@peacebenow can I PM you?

Yes

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

The future is now for me. I am 57 and dealt some bad cards with genetic health conditions. I am absolutely terrified of old age, loss of independence and the indignty that comes with it. I have no children and never want to end up in a nursing home. I also suffer with severe depression and anxiety over my health and all the horrible diseases that could happen. I wish I had the courage to die now because my mental illnesses have destroyed my life.

 

[The Disqualified]

i am not suffering currently besides working but i don't even work 30 hours so it's not that bad rn (i get three days straight off.) but that's why this sucks. this right now is barely doable for me but the standard in society is 40 hours, which i can't even comprehend.

Yeah. Working 40 hours seems crazy when you don't have the energy to live.
I know people who do it and it is crazy indeed.
They are just so much healthier and more 'alive'.

Your current work seems on the lighter end.

Do you feel like the lack of energy is the problem? Or do you just hate working?

as i age, i'll be expected to fall in line with everyone else and give up my free time and immature hobbies, so i would rather CTB than do that.

There is a social script in our society. I dislike that.
I fear people losing their individuality, you know.

If you worked, then you would have less free time for sure, but you could still have some time, you know. There are people who work and have hobbies, so you don't need to give up everything.

also all my interests (gaming, anime, internet rap, ect.) are pretty much centered around youth so if i'm like 25 living the way i am right now, it would be impossible.

But 25 is young.
What do you mean by 'living the way I am right now'?
Do you mean liking gaming, anime etc.?

There are plenty of older people who like that. I guess that it's just that when you age your friends age as well. You won't be a teenager ever again. You won't be able to be young again. But you can keep your current hobbies just fine.
They aren't immature. Perhaps they were thought as such some decades ago, but now it is very mainstream.
Even college professors I know watch anime.

i want to preserve my current self in death while simultaneously avoiding future suffering.

I see.
Preserving yourself by killing yourself seems counter‐intuitive, but I get what you mean.

I think you are being very critical of your hobbies. They aren't immature at all.
Some very old people may be prejudiced, but that's on them.

Anyway, I am here if you wish to talk.
Sending virtual hugs.

 

[catonline]

very much felt this post, I look forward to next to nothing in my future, I am only 18 though so I'll give it time to change
but I have no ambitions and no desire to work, but if I want to live that is what must be done eventually
not even to mention the state of the world cause I don't even want to think about it tbh, I don't see it getting better til it gets so much worse and at that point I don't think I want to be in it

 

[SoLowHollow48]

I am a 19 yo male and the reason I'm going to CTB is to avoid the future entirely. Honestly, aging and responsibility just sounds like it'll really suck so I'd rather just get it over with and die now than extend my life doing things that I don't even want to do. I don't have any aspirations in life and I don't want to lose my current hobbies and interests all because of these changes that'll continue as I get older. Does anyone else feel a similar way?

It's not like you gotta give up all the shit that you find interesting when you grow older smh but aight.

I'm scared of the future too. I'm 25 this year. In Indonesia, if you look into the headlines, prices are surging for essentials every. goddamn. year. I assume that inflations happen in other countries as well but I'm confident that their government at least knows how to recuperate.

Whatever job I'm doing right now, it's not a stable one so I'm not entirely sure that I'll have enough to really plan out a different route going forward, you know?

That's the scary part for me. Not having sufficient resources to carry on. Not because I'll have wrinkles, develop illnesses, and lose people along the way. Those are only natural.

It's the question of whether I'd be able to bounce back up once I fall is what's scaring me.

 

[tomame]

yes .. absolutely. not because i don't have faith of things going good .. rather, i don't have much faith in myself deserving or being who i need too, to deserve them too

 

[dragonofenvy]

Next year I will have even more financial responsibilities to take on, and at that point it's just a matter of when I run out of money, not if. I'll just be working each day knowing that things only get worse as each day passes.

 

[hello707]

I am a 19 yo male and the reason I'm going to CTB is to avoid the future entirely. Honestly, aging and responsibility just sounds like it'll really suck so I'd rather just get it over with and die now than extend my life doing things that I don't even want to do. I don't have any aspirations in life and I don't want to lose my current hobbies and interests all because of these changes that'll continue as I get older. Does anyone else feel a similar way?

We are in the exact same situation right now. Getting a job is impossible but even if i did i'd just feel like im slaving away my whole life. But my hobbies are expensive and the quality of everything is going down. It's not going to get better even if people say it will lol