UtopianSoliloquies
Act 3 Scene 1
- Jan 21, 2023
- 92
I feel you. I'm currently 20 and studying computer science at an okay university. As you can imagine, the job prospects are completely shit, and any opportunities left are mainly just interfacing with the AI slop machine which isn't at all preferable to CTB. 20 years is relatively young but still I've had plenty of time to be good at something, to find something I care about, and I have failed pretty miserably. Despite my somewhat privileged economic circumstances, I've never known what it is like to have a future. Not in the sense that I could do a meaningful job that actually helps people, and not in the sense that I have something to look forward to. Even if I continued as a parasite who lives with my parents indefinitely, I would have nothing valuable or enjoyable to do with my time. The one thing stopping me from CTB is my girlfriend, she's always been so good to me and I'd like to think I've done my best for her too. I have obligations to her no matter how much I don't want this life for myself. Though, I suppose that if I want to CTB because I think my future is shit, there isn't too much harm in waiting for that miserable potentiality to actually become the present before I kill myself.