"You don't want to die. You just want the pain to stop."

[BitterlyAlive]

I'm sorry, but this phrase makes me angry. I find it to be so invalidating, because I do want to die. Stopping the pain is only one of the many reasons.

Just reading posts on Reddit and people keep saying it. Just because it was true for them doesn't mean it's true for everyone. I'm really sorry if I'm being a jerk.

 

[iDieUDie80]

Nah I saw the title of your thread and said, "no, I definitely wanna die".

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Nah I saw the title of your thread and said, "no, I definitely wanna die".

Username checks out For real though. Feel like such a coward because I have the method, but I can't do it yet

 

[Sinai Silence]

I left the Reddit threads a while ago now, no one is actually supportive of other peoples feelings on there. Its just an echochamber of empty platitudes verbatim to the title.

I haven't found a forum that's as resourceful and understanding as SS. The community of Reddit is toxic at the best of times, here I feel comfortable to say whatever is on my mind.

 

[lostangel]

Even when I felt numb. I still wanted to die. We have seen life through a 'black pilled'' lens. We see it from a nihilistic perspective. We see how it's guaranteed to get worse and if our problems were solved we still know how life will always be nothing but pain.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

We see how it's guaranteed to get worse and if our problems were solved we still know how life will always be nothing but pain.

But the question presupposes that life could potentially be free of pain. If life were, in actuality, painless, perhaps we wouldn't want to die. Perhaps we'd be fine knowing that we could just live out our days until natural death.

The issue is that we know that the pain won't actually stop. The major misunderstanding of people who don't understand suicide is that they think it is caused by some overwhelming temporary trial, and if we could just push through and overcome it, we'll be free of pain and glad we lived. It's difficult for them to understand the constancy of our pain, because they don't experience that. They can't believe in it. To them, it's unnatural, so there must be an end.

 

[TAW122]

I agree with the OP here. It is indeed invalidating and condescending to hear such statements. It ignores and brushes off one's struggles as trivial while patronizing (talking down to) the person for opening up. Also, you are not a jerk at all, and kudos for sticking it to the pro-life masses.

 

[muffin222]

Well, in some cases that is true. I definitely don't want to die as much as I want my pain to lessen enough that life feels bearable most of the time. Nonetheless, not everyone feels that way, so I do think it's invalidating to apply it as a sweeping statement in every person's situation.

 

[Superdeterminist]

It's true - but the pain will never stop. There are too many sources of pain, there's no end to it. So, death.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

It is very invalidating to make broad empty platitude like statements and apply them to everyones lives when they don't know your situation or anyone's. For some people like myself I really really want to live and I rather the suffering go away but I refuse to live like this...I cannot accept my circumstances so either I ctb or suffer in misery daily. I find Reddit mental health forums are quite toxic. People constantly just spewing empty platitudes and the "don't do it, life gets better spiel"

 

[Deleted member 18655]

My response to that (unspoken of course) is "ummmm duh!" Of course we want the pain to stop!! But since it doesn't stop and every little action to try and deal with it just makes it feel like it's happening all over again, death seems like a pretty appealing option.

 

[Nymph]

Same and also what's so bad about wanting to stop the pain, like who wants to live in constant pain

 

[Deleted member 17949]

That's like saying "you don't want a car, you just want to be able to travel around easily." Yes technically correct but how am I supposed to get rid of my pain without dying in this situation?

 

[oneanonymous]

I understand what you're saying. For me though, the statement is actually true. I don't really want to die, I just don't want to continue living under the circumstances (which are many) and it's highly unlikely that my life is going to improve to the point that I want to stay. Is it impossible? No, but like I said, very unlikely and I'm already exhausted to a point I didn't know was possible.
Everyone is different though. That statement isn't true for everyone. But even if it was, I still don't think it's a good argument against suicide. So what if it's just the pain that people want to end? Sometimes, that pain is permanent. Sometimes, that pain is far too intense for someone to go through, even if it isn't permanent and I don't think it's fair to tell someone it's not okay to die when they are being tortured every day, for who knows how long. A lot of people seem to understand that when a cancer patient refuses treatment, because the likelihood of success is far too slim and they'd rather spend the rest of their time as comfortable as possible then risk that for an outcome that's such a long shot.
I'd rather die now then be absolutely miserable for the next 10 years, on top of the 10 miserable years I've already lived. Even if I would have found happiness later in life if I hadn't died, so what? I won't be around to regret it.
Anyway, I DO understand what you're saying and I absolutely hate when people invalidate our own feelings and problems. I can't talk to most people about suicide, because it gets me too worked up. Most people simply can't understand what they've never dealt with and it seems like they have no interest in trying to understand. We're often taught to put ourselves in other people's shoes, but many have no idea how to really do that (or even want to). It's depressing AF.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I'd rather die now then be absolutely miserable for the next 10 years, on top of the 10 miserable years I've already lived.

Yes! I wish I had died 13 months ago, before everything went to shit. I would've gone out on a high! Felt pleased with my life and not have to endure the pain that followed and the inevitable pain yet to come.